Almost Famous

I’m laying in bed wide awake.

I don’t know what to blame: the cafe con leche, the Diet Coke or a long afternoon nap.

But then it hits me.

I can’t fall asleep because I have an appointment with my ophthalmologist in the morning; dilation means an extra half hour in his office.

Even wearing my mask and my gloves and social distancing in his office, Corona anxiety syndrome grabs my heart.

Well, since I’m not falling asleep, I decide to have a conversation between my super ego and my ego.

Note to my readers: For those of you that have forgotten your Freud, may I suggest a brief refresher in Wikipedia. For those of you who are afraid that reading Freud may cause you you to post a “like” next to my story or G-d forbid comment or share my story with your friends, let me assure you it will not happen.

Ego: Mort, congratulations you’re almost famous. I read you number of visitors on Mortlaitner.com and I was quite impressed. You got over 4,000,000 visits.

Super ego: Well, to be exact you have 4,195,792 visitors. Being a blogger for the Times of Israel (TOI) has certainly paid off. Your short stories must have lead lots of people around the world to read your web page.

Ego: Mort, have you noticed the readership at TOI has really gone up since you became one of their most popular bloggers. I guess you and TOI have a symbiotic relationship.

Super ego: Well, before joining TOI you were running around 300,000 hits on your web counter. Your writing skills must have improved substantially.

Ego: No way! You were a great writer years ago but your international audience grew exponentially once you were accepted by TOI. Plus as an added bonus not only are your readers getting a great story, they’re getting an art education with each painting your posting  with your story.

Super ego: Mort, next you’ll be taking credit for the treaty between UAE and Israel. I betcha think Bibi reads your stories.

Ego: Very funny. But I bet that some of my short stories influenced the leadership in Israel. Who knows maybe some people in the Emirates also read my blog. Many of my posts teach about peace, love and friendship even tikkun olam.

Super ego: Mort, your sense of self-importance is growing exponentially. Exercise some self control. Don’t take yourself so seriously. If your head gets any bigger, your eyeballs will pop out of your head..

Ego: Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. I’m totally in control. But when we reach five million visitors I’m declaring that we’re “famous.”