An out-of-ordinary life in the Arava

barukh started to write his blog
ten years ago
back in hungary

he wrote about painfully wonderful things
on his life
that
he felt
then
had never been worse

he wrote about his childhood
his parents
his dreams
his fears
and his demons

then
after posting each one
he panicked

how it would be understood

by others

what they would think about him

they will think
he is crazy
and not being ordinary
is a shame

he would still write
and publish these posts
because he believed
he could be cured
he believed
that by the help of this
blog-therapy
once he can have an ordinary life
and this shamefully
out-of-ordinary life will end

barukh’s blog
started to be read
by more and more people
others
who were glad to see
another person’s
fears
dreams
and demons

people who were helped
by barukh’s posts
to get over their own
fears
dreams
and demons

good people have read
barukh’s blog
the right people
people who made barukh happy
to write to and for

then
barukh
unexpectedly
stopped
blogging

he was stomped
by the hope of an ordinary life

the hope of an ordinary life
covered him

and barukh
was unable
to climb out

he started to believe
that he could only have
an ordinary life
if he stops documenting
his own out-of-ordinary life

he started to believe that
others
will see him as ordinary
if he makes the traces of his
out-of-ordinary life disappear

this way barukh
not only stopped blogging
but he also deleted
his blog from the internet

he deleted
he demolished
from the face of the earth
the shameful
out-of-ordinary period of his life

he deleted
he demolished
from the face of the earth
his fears
his dreams
his demons

ten years have passed since
ten
rather
long
years

barukh
has been living
in the arava
for two years
with his family

and in the arava
in the desert
barukh
has learned a lot
about himself
others
and the world

he has learned
for instance
that the out-of-ordinary period of his life
is not over yet

moreover
it never will be

in the desert
barukh learned
that he would never have
an ordinary life
but
that
it does not
matter

it doesn’t matter
because not only the ordinary life
is worth living

and the goal of a blog-therapy
is not healing
or becoming normal

but consolation

the voice
that called out to barukh

the voice
that calls out to others

you are not alone
I am afraid
too
I also dream
it hurts me
too

you are not alone
you are not alone
you are not alone

About the Author
Barukh is a Hungarian-Israeli poet. He and his family have started a new life in the desert. He writes therapeutic free poems about soul, home and world peace. Barukh is me.
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