Atheists can blame God too

But isn’t that stupid and dishonest if you don’t believe in any god?

Anger is a normal phase when overcoming disappointment.

Disappointment is not that the Universe let you down. It’s that you—apparently—had faulty expectations. Since predictions are hard, especially when they concern the future, wrong expectations are to be expected from not-all-knowing beings. There’s no shame in getting disappointed.

The anger phase doesn’t need to be long or hefty but don’t suppress it. It’s part of us coping with hurt. Ignoring it accumulates hurts.

It’s only human that, when angry, we look for causes. And then, easily, we may progress into blaming.

The impulse to blame is good. It reveals our desire that others (or we ourselves) admit to having done damage, say sorry, pay for damages, and promise to do better from now on.

Guilt does not mean that we could have done better but we should have.

Regrettably, the addressed easily may get defensive or feel tremendously guilty. Too much guilt feelings tend to block our intelligence.

We would rather have people take responsibility for the future than feel guilty about and stuck in the past.

At the end of the day, the best outcome is when we have healed emotionally so that we can optimally work with the facts and reality.

But that all only becomes an issue after the phase of blaming subsides.

Small children in Israel are taught that when they fall and hit their head on the ground, to blame the ground and stamp on it.

That’s so absurd. But blaming others or the self is often at least as silly. Mistakes happen; imperfections are built-in; hurt is part of life.

Therefore, if you must blame, blame G^d. He can take it. He understands our suffering and won’t take it Personal.

Yet, we see, that Atheists tend to blame too. And often, their anger gets really personal and destructive. Anger often feels good to the angry ones but looks really bad to onlookers and often is destructive.

In itself, anger is good too. It’s an attempt to feel powerful and safe again.

If Atheists would ponder a little, mustn’t they admit that when we blame, it’s best to blame G^d? He’s the best Candidate. Different from Fate or the Universe, He’s said to be all-loving, all-knowing, and all-powerful.

Blaming people, including oneself, is often so destructive. Destructive emotionally and to relationships.

Then, when we finally return to our senses, we need to apologize and try to restore the relationships, and sometimes it’s too late. It may be not possible to ‘undo’ what we did and make ‘unheard’ what we said—unless we did so in therapy sessions out of eye and earshot of our close ones.

Not only can G^d take it. Judaism carries a whole slew of explanations of how an all-loving, all-knowing, and all-powerful Deity could allow for Evil. It’s all part of a benign, bigger Plan that we sometimes can see clearly in hindsight and sometimes not at all.

Just like there are no Atheists in a foxhole, it may make some sense to be angry at G^d when we don’t appreciate Evil and hurt in plain sight.

Maybe, you prefer to stamp the ground because that’s more tangible to you. Does getting angry with Fate or the Universe feel any better?

If you’re a bit older, why not blame the Self-styled G^d Who declares He cares and is in charge?

You might even give Him the cold shoulder. That may look like not acknowledging Him, but it’s actually deeper. You ignore Him because you don’t want to be on speaking terms after what happened.

I’ve read that many people are Atheists not because of G^d’s negligence but because of the poor performance of people claiming to be religious. Same thing. The buck stops up high.

Don’t assume ‘religious’ people aren’t angry with G^d. Ask them how they handle it. Ask learned Jews how our wisest through the ages have taken it.

It’s not so important if you believe in Him. Or if He might believe in you.

Or would you still prefer to blame, feel good about it, and have bystanders think bad about you or hide your blame?

Face it, evolution has not built the human psyche fit for self-reliance.

In any case, if you think Atheism is unattainable, undefendable, or undesirable, remember that we ourselves need to decide how we want to identify. It is important that our own labels are respected and honored.

We can’t change others. We can only try to become more who we really are. Such changes are facilitated by others who love us for who we are. Feeling pressured to change feels like the opposite of being loved. To help a loved one change (improve), love them, and leave it up to them.

—–

You may find more controversial writings on Amazon or my own blog.

About the Author

MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. * As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. * This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2000 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe too, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. * His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1