Beyond the Fence of Silence

We live in a funny world; the way we worry and argue about things never changes even though the topics we argue about change. Our opinion means everything even though the results aren’t the outcome we wished for. No matter what ends up happening in the end, we will always have our point of view on the situation, yet we know best. And in the end, the essence of it all is the fact that we got to express ourselves and hopefully felt heard. That’s all we need in life to feel appreciated for what we have to offer.

Many people will choose to delve into common topics like politics, sports or current events, since there is a large community of people they can converse with. As we said, the objective of most conversations are to fill the need to be heard, and those who involve themselves with simple topics usually don’t care about the results of their words, rather it is all about the current moment in time that gives them the feeling that their opinion was valued. But then you’ll find people with a larger need, the need to leave an impact in the listeners heart.

Such people will choose rarer topics, like medicine, the sciences, and business, so that their opinion can be valued and taken seriously. To them their knowledge is the most important part, and if they feel that they aren’t respected for what they have to share they will most likely avoid conversation with uninterested parties. The purpose of their arguments isn’t to pass time; they have a deeper agenda, they wish to spread their knowledge and wisdom to the world. Naturally, they are from the quieter group of people, as the Mishnah in Avot 3:13 quotes Rabbi Akiva, “The boundary to wisdom is silence.” When you want to know someone’s character all you have to do is listen. If they are constantly heard from, you’ll know what’s in their heart by hearing the arguments they choose to have. And from those who remain quiet you learn what doesn’t interest them, but still, what does interest them remains a mystery.

The boundary to wisdom is silence; we don’t know what lies behind the fence until we actually climb over and in, but it sure awakens the will and desire to go check out what’s being protected behind those walls. Many people, after going through something tough, are found to be much quieter than they used to be at earlier ages and stages in life. People will say, “You used to be so funny, you used to be the life of the party; what happened to you that you are suddenly so quiet?” Yes, they may have many thoughts that they’d love to share with others, but not everyone is their preferred audience anymore. They seek out those who share their brokenness or search for trust in a war torn place.

Does that mean that they are hiding gems of brilliance behind their fences? No. But what is certain is that by keeping their mouths shut, they keep themselves shielded from those who lack the empathy they are searching for right now. What good will one have when they spill their heart to their party friend who just wants to down another keg? The point is to find a mirroring heart to share their innermost feelings to feel understood. This alone is derived from a source of wisdom, yet the things they ultimately share don’t necessarily carry much wisdom. They have yet to learn the lessons of their pain, but are in the early stages of the search for truth.

Now, there are those that just want to be heard, others want to be listened to by interested ears, while there are those who need specific, special individuals in order to share. In all of these cases the sharing is done in order to relieve oneself of the thoughts on their mind and heart. Their silence too is measured based on this metric, their entire purpose is to receive the satisfaction that they’ve been heard, listened or understood. But then there is one more step, the communicator.

The communicator is one who speaks to others for the sake of conversation. It is more about the experience of spending time wisely than to just pass the time until the next thing on the schedule arrives. Their purpose is to learn from the others and for their thoughts to be articulated, so that all involved in this activity will come out smarter and better for their time well spent. Such people find that just standing around in circles is only beneficial if the conversation leads the group to a conclusion for betterment, and if they see it going toward gossip and mockery they simply remove themselves from that circle and move on to better environments.

The purpose of our mouths and voices in this world are to be used as tools for creation. Much like a hammer should only be used for nails and nuts and not for bloodshed, our words should be used for its purpose. It is upon each human to fill themselves up with experience based knowledge and share it with the world. Once a person has the vernacular to articulate their inner thoughts and can share them with others, they will immediately find the people around them who are interested in what they have to sell. For once we have experience in any area we become the one who writes the book on it, and who better to learn from than from the one who fell and rose again?

The greatest wisdom we can impart to others is the experience of God in this world since each and every subject we gain experience from is attached to this core. By occupying the brain with such thoughts all day we don’t just have a boundary around ourselves that simply alludes to wisdom, we actually become vessels of wisdom that spills out upon everyone who comes close to their reach. Such people are recognized for their piety and beauty as they sit undeterred by any news. The words they speak are profound and always take root, and even more so, their silence speaks more than the fools literature. Seldom will they be caught in an argument unless it is a matter of belief, since all they allow their heart to accept must be sourced, pure and clear. No one can change their mind besides themselves, and since their minds are completely engulfed in God’s beauty, nothing else matters unless it brings them closer to Him.

We live in a funny world where everyone wants to be heard, but what’s even funnier is that those who tend to be heard are the ones who never speak. We know what information we carry around with us and what topics we choose to keep ourselves busy with. But the smartest of all knows to involve themselves with the topic that everyone shares but still will wait silently until their words can be shot like an arrow and plant roots in the minds of all listeners. There is no better life than to have experience based knowledge by learning the ways of God in your own life, the words that you share to others will leave an impact and will ultimately grow roots. Such, will bring a time where all mankind will be elevated to know and speak of the One God! It is the skill above any other to know how to speak, when to speak, and of course, what to speak.

David Lemmer is an Orthodox Jewish Writer and Hypnotherapist. He can be reached at LemmerHypno@gmail.com.