Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews -- For those who like their news and truths frank and sharp

Bibi, How to Say Nyet to Trump?

Soon we will see a “renewal” of an Israel-bound “peace process,” sponsored by the US, yet again pressuring the Jewish State for concessions that will lead to nothing.

It may be helpful to see the relationship between Israel and the Arab Palestinian and Arab world in general as that of spouses in an abusive marriage, and the role of other nations’ counsel as that of bad relationship therapists (no dash after the word bad).


The Muslim world has a one-and-a-half millennium history of wanting to kill the Jews. How different for people who believe in the Trinity!

Three years after the Holocaust, Christians were shocked in their anti-Jewish beliefs when a vibrant Jewish state was proclaimed by a People that seemed to have been losers for millennia with the Shoah as its all but deathblow. They quickly understood the miracle of Zionist success and tried to come back by honoring Israel and proclaiming it as the herald of the return of their Savior.

But Muslims have never had this turnaround. As a group, they still hate Jews for nothing (“I kill people for two pesetas but you’re my friend — I’ll kill you for nothing”) — preferably when they don’t know any Jews, because such familiarity and counter information only would complicate things.

A parallel

Now, what happens when a couple with one malicious spouse and one over-sensitive nice one goes to see an average relationship therapist?

Such a therapist will (falsely) assume that there is goodwill on both sides and rely on that kicking in eventually (which it won’t).

Then the therapist will work with the partner under attack, for the simple reason that the other has no intention to open up. This is not just unworkable – this is outright dangerous. The spouse under attack is pressured to behave and to give in while the abuser is made angry by all the revelations. If the abuser is a man, physical harm and even murder must be feared – and his partner’s first responsibility is to keep an eye on the emergency exit for self and the kids.

If there would be any chance to revive this marriage, it will only happen by cornering the abusive spouse into therapy (in most cases that won’t work anyway) in a situation in which the rest of the family is holding out in a safe place. Don’t try to corner an abuser as long as there could be any way to wiggle oneself out of the hold.


Therefore, Mr. Netanyahu, don’t give away an inch from the West Bank (or Jerusalem or the Golan for that matter). History will venerate you! Appeasement of abusers is not doable. Peace is now not yet possible.

Trump and our other US friends cannot know this. They are so full of goodwill but also of naivety. They may beg or pressure you. They cannot know what you can: that for now, peace is not within reach.

After ISIS is defeated, time will come to force Arab Palestinian leadership to choose peace. Until then, no more useless concessions.

But it is always the right time to try to pacify the Israel Arab population by giving them more access to their rights, safer neighborhoods with better infrastructure, etc. Yet, those are not concessions — that is only doing what is right in a democracy, enhancing the State of Israel for all.

A good counselor does not try to pressure the abused spouse. A smart victim of family abuse does not try to appease the abuser. / A good Ally of Israel does not try to pressure it. Smart Israelis do not try to appease their enemies.

This comparison I learned many years ago from the famous Jerusalem psychologist, speaker and publicist Miriam Adahan.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. He doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. * This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 1400 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe, here: or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (, born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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