Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

Bibi, How to Say Nyet to Trump?

Soon we will see a “renewal” of an Israel-bound “peace process,” sponsored by the US, yet again pressuring the Jewish State for concessions that will lead to nothing.

It may be helpful to see the relationship between Israel and the Arab Palestinian and Arab world in general as that of spouses in an abusive marriage, and the role of other nations’ counsel as that of bad relationship therapists (no dash after the word bad).


The Muslim world has a one-and-a-half millennium history of wanting to kill the Jews. How different for people who believe in the Trinity!

Three years after the Holocaust, Christians were shocked in their anti-Jewish beliefs when a vibrant Jewish state was proclaimed by a People that seemed to have been losers for millennia with the Shoah as its all but deathblow. They quickly understood the miracle of Zionist success and tried to come back by honoring Israel and proclaiming it as the herald of the return of their Savior.

But Muslims have never had this turnaround. As a group, they still hate Jews for nothing (“I kill people for two pesetas but you’re my friend — I’ll kill you for nothing”) — preferably when they don’t know any Jews, because such familiarity and counter information only would complicate things.

A parallel

Now, what happens when a couple with one malicious spouse and one over-sensitive nice one goes to see an average relationship therapist?

Such a therapist will (falsely) assume that there is goodwill on both sides and rely on that kicking in eventually (which it won’t).

Then the therapist will work with the partner under attack, for the simple reason that the other has no intention to open up. This is not just unworkable – this is outright dangerous. The spouse under attack is pressured to behave and to give in while the abuser is made angry by all the revelations. If the abuser is a man, physical harm and even murder must be feared – and his partner’s first responsibility is to keep an eye on the emergency exit for self and the kids.

If there would be any chance to revive this marriage, it will only happen by cornering the abusive spouse into therapy (in most cases that won’t work anyway) in a situation in which the rest of the family is holding out in a safe place. Don’t try to corner an abuser as long as there could be any way to wiggle oneself out of the hold.


Therefore, Mr. Netanyahu, don’t give away an inch from the West Bank (or Jerusalem or the Golan for that matter). History will venerate you! Appeasement of abusers is not doable. Peace is now not yet possible.

Trump and our other US friends cannot know this. They are so full of goodwill but also of naivety. They may beg or pressure you. They cannot know what you can: that for now, peace is not within reach.

After ISIS is defeated, time will come to force Arab Palestinian leadership to choose peace. Until then, no more useless concessions.

But it is always the right time to try to pacify the Israel Arab population by giving them more access to their rights, safer neighborhoods with better infrastructure, etc. Yet, those are not concessions — that is only doing what is right in a democracy, enhancing the State of Israel for all.

A good counselor does not try to pressure the abused spouse. A smart victim of family abuse does not try to appease the abuser. / A good Ally of Israel does not try to pressure it. Smart Israelis do not try to appease their enemies.

This comparison I learned many years ago from the famous Jerusalem psychologist, speaker and publicist Miriam Adahan.

About the Author
The author is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (DES - Diethylstilbestrol), born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a vegan for 8 years now. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach and lehavdiel bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (statistics), Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, GLBTQAI, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quit a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500st blog post with the ToI. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. To see other blog posts by him, a second blog - under construction - can be found by clicking on the Website icon next to his picture.
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