Bibi: Son NOT dating non-Jew, just hooking up

Following a media firestorm earlier this week, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu told the media Thursday that his son Yair was not dating a non-Jewish Norwegian woman, just that they are bumping uglies.

In an emergency meeting called to decrease tensions between himself and the religious elements of his coalition, the Prime Minister told Shas party chairman Aryeh Deri, “My son is absolutely not romantically involved with a non-Jew. If he wants to knock boots however, that is his business.”

The story first broke earlier this week when several eyewitnesses spotted Yair Netanyahu and Sandra Leikanger in a Herzliya café, studying biology, English literature, and Sandra’s chest.

“I implore the media to leave my son out of the news and to place your focus where it belongs: on my low approval ratings and inability to achieve anything. That is what we should be talking about, not whether a twenty-three year-old boy is doin’ it, and doin’ it, and doin’ it well.”

Religious groups were up in arms about the country’s First Son promoting intermarriage. “This sends a horrible message to Jews not only in Israel but around the world. If this relationship leads to marriage, what are we telling our youth? Never forget that shiksas are for practice.”

When questioned about his dalliance, Yair responded via text message “Y u gotta be all up in my bizness n shit, dawg?” As of Thursday morning, his Facebook relationship status had been changed from “It’s Complicated” to “Pimpin ain’t easy”. The Times of Israel was unable to confirm whether or not Yair had taken Leikanger to the candy shop.