For those who know me, you will know that I am usually writing about dating, love, relationships and sex. But something has come to my attention and I feel like I wanted to discuss it, and that is body confidence and loving yourself.
It started this morning when a friend of mine messaged me upset and told me about a situation that happened on a bus yesterday. As she sat down on the bus, her thigh I suppose touched the boy next to her and he said to her, “watch it fatty!”
She was shocked. How humiliating. No woman should be made to feel humiliated about the way she looks!! His friends sat close and all laughed. She is a 28 year old woman and he was around 15 but she was disgusted at this kind of behavior from a kid to an adult. I told her that unfortunately, it does not matter how old you are, there will always be those who need to make others feel worse about themselves so that these disgraceful human beings can feel better about themselves. It is a f**ked up world people!
Did you know that the average size for women in the UK (where I am from) is a 14-16? But still, to a lot of people this is considered overweight. I have seen the media say that being overweight is ugly but my question is when did being overweight make you ugly? In the Victorian era, large women were treasured and their nude bodies were painted in collages everywhere. In African tribes, the bigger a female is the better. African men believe that larger women are more beautiful than smaller women. If you look back to one of the most beautiful pin ups of all time – Marilyn Monroe, you will see that she had curves and men loved her. So why do some still feel the need to criticize the plus size?
Luckily now in 2015 it seems that it is starting to become more accepted. I am not saying that being 500 pounds overweight is ok where it becomes some Dr Phil reality show where you are shown being craned out of your house with your wall being knocked down because that is not ok, but if you are overweight and reading this, don’t think you are not beautiful just because you aren’t a size 0. Who says that you have to be skinny to be beautiful? Personally, some of these ‘skinny’ models walking the catwalk look sick and unhealthy to me more so than someone overweight. I look at Tess Holliday who is a plus size model and at size 26 (UK size) she is a ‘body positive activist’ trying to promote that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. I totally agree with this.
As a youth in school, I got bullied. Lucky for me I was always a rowdy little thing and when anyone started with me, I was always able to get them back worse. They said rude things about me, I went to ruder levels. A boy once pushed me, so I kicked him in the balls, he never started on me again and from then on, no one really did. Yeah I would get a comment here and there being called a ‘fatty’ or a ‘lump’ but I always thought to myself that if I take it seriously or let it affect me, they win. I win. I always win!
As a child I was actually very small. It was when I went through puberty and after that started smoking that I started to gain weight and ever since, I have been a massive yo-yo dieter. I have tried them all! But it kicked for me in my head when a doctor once told me I was a walking heart attack as I was overweight, smoking and taking the contraceptive pill. That changed it for me and I lost 12 kilo (2 stone) and then another 3 kilo when I moved abroad.
Since then, I have yo-yoed again but I know that I never want to be the way I used to be. I was a UK size 20-22 and hated that nothing fit me. Don’t get me wrong, being a UK size 16 I still find it hard sometimes to find great clothes but I have learnt what suits my body and the kind of clothes I should wear, and trust me when I say this.. Every time I leave my house, I leave feeling fabulous!
Truth be it, I am now 27 and it has taken me a long time to feel confident and happy with the way I look. I am working on myself by going to the gym and eating a better diet which can sometimes be hard for me as I do not eat meat and have only recently started eating dairy again (on the odd occasion.) But I have learnt to love myself, because if I don’t love myself, why would anyone else want to love me?
One thing that did get to me recently and was another reason why I wanted to voice my opinion was because Instagram recently blocked the hashtag curvy. If you type #curvy into Instagram, it will tell you no posts. If you type in #skinny you will get a note pop up saying some images are only suitable for those over 18. Hold on a minute, a girl showing off her natural curves and embracing her beautiful body cannot be shown but someone looking to get skinny can type in #anorexic and #bulimia and get a notice asking if they are over 18 which they will then click yes and be able to see some disturbing images. Seriously Instagram, you totally f**ked up on that one!
How I see it is that if you are happy with the way you look, why should you care what others say about you? Why should we live our lives based on what some small minded people might say about us?
So embrace what your mumma gave ya! Walk out of the house everyday feeling confident and fabulous. Enjoy life, forget the haters, embrace your natural beauty, embrace your curves and LOVE YOURSELF!!