Breaking News: January 16 Snowstorm – A Mossad Plot? (satire)

On January 16, 2024, the planned walkout by reportedly hundreds of federal employees opposed to the Biden Administration’s military support of Israel was frustrated by a heretofore unknown capability of the Mossad, Israel’s national intelligence agency — weather control. This tool, unleashed on unsuspecting Americans by undetermined means, caused over three inches of snow to fall in the Washington, DC area, leading to across-the-board closures of federal government facilities and putting a damper on the protest.

This mastery over the weather is yet another addition to the long list of exhibits to the scheming designs of the Zionist regime. The Jews have long been known to manipulate and direct world events through their preternatural abilities. For example, Jews have used animals to do their bidding to resist the righteous anti-Zionist forces in the Middle East, including spy lizards and birds, killer sharks, robot dolphins and wild boars. Indeed, this ability has been known and used for millennia and celebrated by the Jews during their holiday of Passover.

Though weather control comes as a surprise to many in Western intelligence, biblical scholars consulted on this topic point to the splitting of the Red Sea and other weather-related phenomena in the Five Books of Moses as early tells.

Anonymous protest organizers from Feds United for Peace expressed disappointment that Mossad chose snow as its preferred method to stop the walkout. “The Jews have again tipped their racist settler-colonial hand by using the only type of precipitation that happens to be white,” one co-organizer posted on X.

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This is satire (I think?) or what one often sees in Arab media and that wretched hive of villainy known as the UN Internet.