Oh, how wonderful it would be, to live in the land of black and white.
As long as doubt has not arisen, wrong is wrong, and right is right.
Some rabbis talk very forcefully about what is right and what is wrong. Especially, when they perceive a wrong as a threat. They will also do that if it comes from other rabbis.
But then, the others rabbis will return the favor. They’ll explain why the other is too stern and negative. But, their message seems too: I’m better.
I also feel tempted to side with the one who talks more the way I think. But, that’s the problem. Rather than fighting who’s right, we need unity.
I had a Gentile friend who used to say: “And then, when you have proven you’re right, what are you going to do with it? Save it? Store it?”
It’s OK to toot your horn, but against Jewish Law to sable down other Jews.
When rabbis lock horns, it looks like each has too big of an ego.
If one of them would ask me what I thought of his opinion, I would answer in irony: “Finally, a rabbi who dares to criticize others, showing he’s more right, and is so convinced he’s right that the other must be wrong.”
When Jews infight, it proves outside pressure. Therefore, I refuse to blame the victim. Historic and present Antisemitism makes Jews tense and fight.
I’m willing to have the rabbis negotiate and find a middle ground. And if I would prefer that from my rabbis, the rabbis should strive for that too.
Like in a good marriage, both partners are right. That means: They say what they think and feel for a reason. Don’t devalue what the other says.
A quick remedy: More women as rabbis. Women are not perfect, but more often, they are eager to compromise and cooperate rather than compete.
A more traditional approach is: Have rabbis more listen to their wives.