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Corona is not funny

It's not all bad, though: for example, I enjoy reading about other people's schedules -- why do all the people with COVID-19 have the time to go from café to cafe?
Illustrative. Silhouettes of people sitting near table and talking at cafe outdoors.
Illustrative. Silhouettes of people sitting near table and talking at cafe outdoors.

Corona is not funny, it’s really not. But it does bring about some weird eventualities. For example, If you  are like me, you’re ordering pasta just when you shouldn’t be. Before Passover. When we usually try to eat everything in the cupboards down, my 30- year old son who is upstairs in isolation because he rushed home from NYC before the planes stopped flying, tells me we have to stock up. So yes I will order more food. Eight packages of pasta. More toilet paper, more rice. My husband says I’m hysterical, but if not now, when?

It is a scary time. But I have to admit, there are some positives to this epidemic. For example, I enjoy reading about people and their schedules, their shopping and café habits. Why is it that every person with COVID-19 seems to spend most of his time going from café to cafe? Doesn’t anybody work? Well not now, obviously. I mean in pre-Corona times. Doesn’t the Red Pirate sound X-rated? These itineraries remind me of how after we die, according to some sources, we are called upon to give an accounting of our lives. Hopefully, God won’t publish mine.

Furthermore, this disease has helped my marriage. My husband has always been against cruises. Why? You can’t get off, he says. I have to agree. Paradise has a different meaning now.

I’m not crazy about Bibi teaching us how to blow our noses, but okay. At least he acts like a concerned Papa.

We’re all in a percentage game. But I learned long ago not to trust statistics. Chances of me moving to Israel, for example were probably 1 in a million.

And how did I get to be not young? I won’t call myself old, but how are my husband and I in the higher risk category? When did that happen?

The world is amiss. As the “New York Daily News” calls it — upside down, a headline on the week of Purim. Well, the coronavirus has been a boon to Jewish creativity with its Gemara parodies. Who doesn’t love a good parody, especially with a few rabbis involved, as well as Osher Ad?

So maybe the world as we know it is ending. For a bit. And in such a plebian, banal way.

Corona means crown. Sort of like the Messiah. Could we be looking at the end of days with this virus?

I think I need a beer, maybe two, obviously Corona, and then I’ll bring my son some dinner. I leave it at the doorway to his room. No bread, no carbs. He just acquired a jump rope. There are many ways to enjoy being trapped at home. Think of all that extra time.

And please G-d, we should all be healthy.

About the Author
Sherri Mandell is co-director of the Koby Mandell Foundation which runs programs for bereaved families in Israel. She is the author of the book "The Road to Resilience: From Chaos to Celebration." Her book, "The Blessing of a Broken Heart," won a National Jewish Book Award in 2004. She can be reached at sherri@kobymandell.org
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