Thank the good Lord, Israel’s amazingly successful battle against the plague of Corona is a shining example for all of the world. Now that the Jewish State is ending its long lockdown, Jewish communities around the globe have received an injection of hope, looking forward to the day when they too can all breathe easier without having to wear a mask. But the truth is that even before Corona, the Jews of the Diaspora wore masks, carrying on the grand charade that Jewish Life in foreign lands was perfectly OK – if not Glatt Kosher, then at least kosher style. But Jewish Life in the Diaspora isn’t kosher at all, as our long history of persecution and oppression has taught us again and again. Today, in addition to rising anti-Semitism all over the world, the steadily increasing rate of assimilation is devastating our ranks with a fury even greater than Corona. But instead of reading the very clear writing on the wall, the always optimistic Exile Jew is continuing to close his and her eyes, pretending that everything is hunky-dory, and that the islands of salvation which Jews discovered in the wake (the gathering before a funeral) of World War 2, in Belgium, France, England, South Africa, Australia, Argentina, and America, will continue to be havens of Jewish Life forever. Ha ha ha ha ha.
If it wasn’t such a tragedy, it would make a fabulous storyline for a new Broadway hit – “Paradise Lost.” As Hashem asks, “Who is so blind as My servant? – the Jews of Belgium, France, England, South Africa, Australia, Argentina, and America who refuse to face the obvious fact that the grand masquerade has come to an end. Dear brothers and sisters – the game is over. Finito! Kaput! The exile from the Land of Israel was never intended to last forever. God never agreed to replace Jerusalem with Berlin, Brooklyn, or Beverly Hills.
Jews in the Diaspora – come to your senses! As the darkness of Corona starts to fade, and you begin to take off your masks, gaze around you. The Diaspora is reaching its end. Jewish Life there is doomed. Don’t waste your time trying to strengthen your communities. The effort is hopeless. Assimilation and the next invisible Corona bug will eat you alive, if the skinheads don’t reach you first.
But no – the always optimistic Jew continues to stride forward, masked and blindfolded, as he marches to the tune of “Yankee Doodle Dandy” toward the cliff of oblivion, organizing “World Jewish Communities Unity Conferences” led by the leaders of assimilation, the lovers of Gentile lands, and the impotent Jewish Agency which is too frightened of American Jews to tell them to come home to Israel, or else be lost forever, a footnote of Jewish history, lost like all of the Diaspora Jewish communities before them.
Gracious Jewish philanthropists – don’t waste your money! Donating millions will not save the Diaspora, just as a band aid won’t save a man struck by a bus, and just as an aspirin tablet won’t heal a poor soul dying of cancer. The Jewish communities in Belgium, France, England, South Africa, Australia, Argentina, and America are all terminal wards destined to be shut down forever. Yes, your billions of generous grants toward Jewish Education and new Federation buildings with swimming pools and kosher-style cafeterias, may help the patient survive another year or two – maybe even five years or ten, but the end is clear. Anti-Semitism, assimilation, and the whip of this strain of Corona or some other, won’t come to end. Concerned and kind-hearted philanthropists, send your millions to Israel instead, where the money is guaranteed to be a lifetime investment. Unlike the unpreventable Death of the Diaspora, the State of Israel will continue to thrive and grow stronger, in every field of endeavor. Yes, we have problems in Israel, but here the patient is on the way to recovery and robust health, whereas the Jewish communities in foreign lands are destined to extinction – maybe in five years, maybe in ten, maybe the dying skeleton will hang on for two more steadily declining decades, kept barely alive by the respirator of charitable billions, while the doctors and nurses in charge of his treatment continue to smile, assuring the dying soul that everything is going to be dandy, and that he is sure to live forever in the most modern and expensive terminal ward in the world.
Enough with meaningless world conferences of Major Jewish Organizations and the Jewish Endlessly-Meeting Agency and the Israel Ministry of Terminal Ward Affairs, enough wasted billions, enough of the longest-running Broadway charade that the Diaspora can be saved. Ladies and Gentlemen – take off your masks! Face the truth. The only thing capable of saving the Jewish communities in the Diaspora is to uproot them completely and transport them to Israel. Now!