Embracing Discipline and Purity in Life

“Zot Chukat HaTorah, These are the disciplines of the Torah.” Over the last couple of weeks Rashi astutely points out why these chapters are next to each other. The story of Miriam speaking about Moshe with the story of the Meraglim, how they should’ve learned from her. The Parsha of Tzitzit touches on the story of Korach, how he misunderstood the need for having a Yetzer Hara in our lives in order to fall and rise again better. But this week, we sort of move away from that trend and speak of how to deal with impurity in life, before jumping ahead thirty eight years and speaking of the wars with Sichon and Og the giants. It seems fitting to say that it would actually require 38 years of one’s life to conquer those particular temptations.

Over the course of life many of us had had trouble keeping ourselves at the level of connection with Hashem. We know how we can get closer to Him, by doing Mitzvot, Praying, and all the things that fall under the category of Aseh Tov. But in regard to not separating ourselves from Him, Sur Mera, in that subject we find that we are distancing ourselves by not being able to hone those physical wants and desires. Many get discouraged by the undertaking of this relationship and as many young adults, their entire connection to Him is solely based on the good side. We go through some struggles as children and teens, some harder than others, but taking our lives into our own hands and deciding to discipline ourselves in His way, that usually comes a bit later.

As we’ve spoken many times before, we are all here for ourselves, as the Gemara states so eloquently in Sanhedrin 37a. Not to be interpreted that others don’t matter, but rather, in order to care for others we must make sure that our programming is set right. We know when to use our stronger traits and when to exercise our weaknesses. We learn to be compassionate and firm at the same time while moving on to the next minute well balanced and even headed. To become that father figure, although there may be financial insecurities, health scares or Nachat interventions, we still know our place in the room and that respect and admiration surrounds us wherever we may be and whatever we may be going through.

How do we get there? This is like teaching a child how to become an adult. We always want to be that child in our hearts, we always want to think that we can still run that marathon, but as they say, “As time ticks, the hip clicks.” It is at some point in life, either naturally or induced by external situations that we are forced to grow up. It’s making a commitment to ourselves that we are no longer living in the shadow of the past, we are now walking in the direction of the light. By creating a visual idea we may have even more clarity. As we grow up we walk with the light above our heads, we are filled with joy and smile, we are knocked down and we cry, we get back up and find new things to fill our time with. We basically live in the moment. Then one day we leave the sun behind and we start living life with a shadow that grows and grows the further we distance ourselves from the light.

The older we get the larger that shadow becomes, and we live with the memories of the past light and the doubt of the shadow. “How much bigger will it become? How can I go back to the light? Am I really that committed?” And most of all, “Is it even worth it, will there be such a significant change in my life?” This area of thought is a very common one, we know that we have much to work on although we’ve never enumerated our faults to ourselves. We don’t know where to start and if there is no cause pushing us toward an answer we will just go on living meaninglessly forever. Why do we wake up, is it because we are looking for our ultimate meaning, or are we trying to find closure in a certain matter we’ve gotten ourselves into? So many angles to start working from and so much confusion as per the direction.

We’ve gone through the do’s and dont’s of the Torah, we’ve learned from the personalities of the Knowledgeable Generation, but now we are given rules pertaining to our personal selves. Zot Chukat HaTorah, these are the disciplines you must set for yourselves in order to keep that shadow from growing any larger. Do you want to bring the light back into your life? Follow these rules, keep yourself pure and holy, trust the process and accept the procedure even though you find no meaning in it. The Red Heifer’s understanding is concealed from us and so is the depth of our relationship with Hashem. When we find ourselves in a place with a lack of meaning, when the relationship feels like it’s falling apart and there’s simply no more spark left, start with adding purity to your life and watch yourself being slowly brought into the light of the fire. See how your shadow turns into ashes and just like dust spread with the wind of new spirit entering you.

The Parah Adumah has some intricacies in the way it must be handled before it is sacrificed for this cause. First of all it must be all red, secondly, it may not have had any weight on itself. These components are very similar to what we have to do for ourselves as we seek holiness in our life. The Gemara in Bava Metzia 107b (Sanhedrin 18 and 19a… and then some), states, Reish Lakish said, “Beautify yourself and then beautify others,” put your oxygen mask on first, essentially. We need our bodies and souls to be in perfect shape, physically and spiritually, each hair must be red on our hide and each responsibility must be attended to. We cannot promise that we will be able to fulfill each of our obligations every single time, but our resolve should be set towards winning. Once we beautify/truth-ify ourselves we have to make sure that we are unburdened by the past as well. 

We teach ourselves disciplines that will keep us from falling under the weight of the past. We take small steps in order to achieve this goal. First we start with not honking in the car, then we go to brush our teeth again. From there we start watching the words we speak and the image we portray of ourselves. We start using our time wisely with a full schedule filled with purpose and meaning. We choose correctly, set an unwavering resolve and go for the shot. It is with these steps that we finally start seeing the shadow disappear as we are slowly but surely spending more and more time in the light. 

So why is this Parsha placed here? We have gone through all of those miraculous stories, all of our doubts have been pushed aside, and now for 38 years we have the chance to make ourselves into pure people and raise our children in kind. It is precisely at this moment in time that Hashem gives us these laws so that we can spend the rest of our days on earth, under His command connected to Him with purity. The stories of the past lead us to this day and our relationship has only become stronger because of it. Now we do all we can to keep it that way.

David Lemmer is an Author and Hypnotherapist out of NJ, specializing in natural mindset change therapies. He can be reached at LemmerHypno@gmail.com