Ferris Netanyahu’s day off

A little side-trip for some badly needed self-promotion was reason enough to further delay an endless corruption trial

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Benjamin Netanyahu enters the Tel Aviv courtroom on December 10, the first day of his testimony in his trial on corruption charges.

Israeli Prime Minister Benajmin Netanyahu is being tried for three separate cases of alleged corruption. With no law barring anyone under indictment from standing for national office, he and his supporters insisted that he would be able to run the country while standing trial.

No problem, they said. Like walking down the street and chewing gum. Easier even.

A cocky approach is there ever was one.

Then war broke out on October 7, 2023. It has been the country’s longest war, coming to involve several fronts, and by far its costliest in terms of Israeli civilians killed, maimed or captured and held hostage.

Suddenly, Netanyahu was no longer capable of walking down the street and chewing gum, with heated requests coming from his lawyers and aides to postpone his testimony – perhaps indefinitely.

The court, fully aware of the country’s precarious situation, acceded to some of these requests. But not to all, saying that Netanyahu’s legal issues were no less important than running a war. He eventually would have to appear.

A date was set for December 2 – although a suicide drone, apparently sent from Lebanon to target his private residence, brought with it another delay, this time to make arrangements for a move from the Jerusalem courtroom to the basement of the much more modern and secure Tel Aviv District Court building.

So, it was not until December 10 – four years and some 200 days after his trial began – that Benjamin Netanyahu finally took the stand in his own defense. (Legal observers say that at this rate, the trial – never mind any appeals – could continue for years.)

Yet on December 16, just the third session into his testimony – already riddled with breaks for “important consultations” and the “urgent” transfer of envelopes overtly labeled “Top Secret” – Netanyahu had a special request for the judges: A day off from the next day’s testimony to do something crucial to running the war and the country.

The courtroom was cleared of bystanders so that Netanyahu could explain. But that wasn’t enough, his lawyers insisted – those left in the courtroom had cell phones that could be used to spirit out the sensitive information he was about to divulge. So, the judges heard him out in their chambers.

THE NEXT DAY, Netanyahu literally fell off the radar.

At first, media outlets and others speculated that with talks aimed at the release of hostages apparently heading into a critical phase, the prime minister himself might be required in Cairo, where much of the negotiations have been taking place. So, his official aircraft was tracked lollygagging over the eastern Mediterranean, fueling such speculation even more.

Until finally we learned what had required Netanyahu’s presence away from the courtroom: a photo op atop the windy Syrian summit of Mt. Hermon.

Yes, there were consultations up there with the defense minister, chief of military staff and other top security officials. They had all joined the prime minister in an area of the Hermon that until a couple of weeks ago had been held by the crumbling regime of Syria’s Bashar Assad. It now was part of a border swath on the Golan Heights in which Israel chose to beef up its military presence until the smoke of the Syrian revolution could clear.

But what was so crucial as to require his presence there and waste another day of court time? Were important decisions waiting to be made? Did Netanyahu point this way or that way to make his generals know where he wished to go next in holding the upper reaches of the Hermon?

Of course not. What was crucial was a photo opportunity showing Netanyahu, manly hands on hips, appearing to lay out a route for his country’s future.

In a video thoughtfully made public by the Prime Minister’s Office, Netanyahu stated with gravity but no less bravado: “I was here 53 years ago with my soldiers in the General Staff Reconnaissance Unit. The place has not changed… but its importance for the security of Israel has only been underscored in recent years and especially in recent weeks…. We will determine the best arrangement that will ensure our security.”

And there you have it. Mr. Security was again in charge after several days of hovering like a pale schnook over the defendant’s lectern deep in the bowels of a Tel Aviv courthouse.

Back was the proud leader, one with enough presence of mind to turn to his supporters for a moment of folksy nostalgia aimed at reminding them that he himself had once been a soldier – an officer in the IDF’s vaunted Sayeret Matkal commando unit, mind you, so don’t lose sight of this as a bunch of lefty judges and cowardly members of the defeatist press look down on you – the true heroes of Israel – as they seek to hound me from the very office to which you elected me.

IT WAS VINTAGE BIBI talking to his base. The heavy makeup covered his deepening wrinkles and lightened the heavy bags under his eyes. The high Golan wind mussed his silver combover a bit. He unleashed a self-assured grin or two and confidently rocked his head from side to side to drive home a few self-possessed points of the truth as he saw it.

It was worth taking a day off the way Ferris Bueller did in… well, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, a popular film from the 1980s about a cocky high school slacker’s misadventures and eventual redemption as he plays hooky from school one fine spring day.

Yes, the judges, like Bueller’s hapless principal, got red in the face. But so what? It was time to show everyone that the confidence was still there, that the leader was still in town.

To paraphrase a line from another famous film, cocky is as cocky does.