GET with the program

My Facebook feed has been full of Get – religious divorce – discussions. Specifically about Gital Dodelson and her ex-husband Avrohom Meir Weiss. Gital and Avrohom Meir have a civil divorce, but the Get has yet to be given.

Within the last few days there have been salvos fired from all sides. She went to the press, his camp fired back, and there have been a crazy amount of opinions put out there.

Many many people have contacted me to ask me for my opinion on the subject. I guess because I got divorced once it makes me an expert.

In my humble opinion, there is NEVER a good reason to withhold a Get. Man up, do what needs to be done, and use the civil courts to resolve any outstanding issues.

Yes, I was “lucky”. My ex-husband gave me no trouble giving me the Get, but at the time I did not, could not, realize and appreciate that.

However, let us realize that in the center of this case that has all of the Jewish Cyberworld agog there is a five year old child. A boy who one day will grow up and be able to read all the vitriol and nastiness that has been written about / against / by his parents. A child should be free in every circumstance to love both parents equally, to not be made a pawn in any divorce proceedings, and to not be withheld from visitation because of any machinations by either parent.

I do not know the details of this case. I do know that it is getting uglier by the day. I do know that there are more than two sides to the story. I also know that by choosing sides without knowing all the facts we are doing more harm than good.

Think of the child. Think of what is best for him. And mind your own business. Is it really for us to weigh in on a specific case? Or should we be working to make a Halachic pre-nup standard at all weddings, so that no one has to suffer the indignity of becoming an Agunah because the guy won’t give a Get?

Change the system, do it properly and intelligently, and leave the Weisses and Dodelsons of this world to work their problems out privately, without scarring any children involved.

About the Author
HaDassah Sabo Milner is a Welsh Jew who lives in Monsey NY. She is a writer and a blogger and a lifelong foodie, and works as a paralegal. She's married with four sons who provide her with much fodder for her writing projects. HaDassah's oldest son made aliyah in Aug 2013, and her second son joined him in July 2014. Son #3 made Aliyah in August 2016 and drafts to the IDF Jan 21, 2018.