Grief and Defiance: Dancing Through the Pain

As this year’s holiday season draws to a close, we find ourselves faced with a question that seems to echo through our hearts: Can we truly dance again? Simchat Torah, typically a time of joy and celebration, feels different this year. The weight of grief and loss is heavy upon us, with thousands of soldiers wounded, hostages still in captivity, and the memory of those who sacrificed their lives still fresh. How can we dance in such times? How can we rejoice in the Torah when our hearts are burdened with pain?

The tension between grief and joy is not a new one for the Jewish people. Historically, we have faced these moments—where our tradition calls for celebration, but life presents us with reasons for sorrow. This year, we are forced to confront that tension head-on, especially in light of the tragic events of October 7, when Hamas attacked Israel on Simchat Torah, transforming what is meant to be a day of joy into one of horror.

Shaul Kelner, in his recent article “How a Small Holiday Became a Symbol of Jewish Resistance,” reminds us of the defiance inherent in Simchat Torah’s history. During the Cold War, Soviet Jews danced with Torah scrolls in the streets of Moscow, standing in opposition to a regime that sought to suppress Jewish identity. Elie Wiesel, witnessing these acts of defiance, described the Jews of Moscow dancing “in defiance” of their oppressors. Their joy was an act of resistance, a declaration that despite efforts to silence them, the Jewish people would endure and thrive.

This year, as Kelner points out, we face a similar challenge. Last year’s attack on Simchat Torah was not just an attack on Israel, but an attack on the holiday itself—a desecration of our joy and our resilience. And yet, just as the Jews of the Soviet Union danced despite their oppression, we are called to find a way to dance again, to celebrate life even in the face of grief and terror.

But how do we reconcile these emotions? How do we hold space for both our grief and our joy on a day that is meant to be filled with celebration?

Rabbi Mordechai Torczyner, in his reflection “Shemini Atzeret 5785: A Time to Grieve, A Time to Dance,” explores this very question. He recounts the story of a young girl who, after learning about putting honey on challah for Rosh Hashanah, asked her father why they continue the tradition on Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah. “Those are sad days,” she remarked. It’s a sentiment many of us feel this year. While we have so much to celebrate—our religious growth, the bravery of the IDF, and the miracles we’ve witnessed—there is also so much loss. How do we honor both the grief and the joy?

Rabbi Torczyner draws from our tradition to illustrate how the Jewish calendar has always balanced these emotions. Yizkor, the memorial prayer recited on holidays, was not originally part of Yom Tov, yet it migrated there, creating a tension between the celebration of the holiday and the remembrance of the dead. Similarly, the Fast of Gedaliah, which commemorates the assassination of the governor Gedaliah, is delayed until after Rosh Hashanah to avoid diminishing the joy of the new year. And yet, during the Omer period between Pesach and Shavuot, we observe a time of mourning alongside our celebration of the journey to Sinai. These examples show that grief and joy are not always separate in Jewish life; sometimes, they coexist.

This year, Rabbi Torczyner suggests, we must embrace both emotions. It may not be possible to fully isolate the joy from the pain, nor should we try. Instead, we can weave them together, just as we place ashes on a groom’s head at a wedding to remember the destruction of the Temple, or as we hold joyful celebrations on the yahrzeit of righteous individuals like Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai. We can acknowledge our grief while also celebrating the Torah and the resilience of the Jewish people.

In practice, this means creating space for both mourning and celebration during Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah. Rabbi Torczyner’s community, for example, plans to dedicate each hakafah (Torah procession) to a community ravaged by war. One hakafah will be slow and solemn, in memory of those who were killed. Yet, after acknowledging the pain, they will continue with hakafot filled with songs of hope and joy, concluding with a celebration of the Torah’s completion and renewal.

Kelner’s article reminds us that Simchat Torah itself has been a symbol of Jewish defiance and survival in the face of oppression. Last year, a film memorializing the victims of the massacre at the Nova Music Festival was titled We Will Dance Again. This title serves as a powerful message not just for the families of the victims, but for all of us: we will dance again. We must dance again. Not as a denial of our grief, but as an affirmation of our commitment to life, to the Torah, and to each other.

As Rabbi Doron Peretz reflected on his son’s wedding during the war—while one son was wounded and another presumed to be a hostage—he acknowledged that joy and sorrow are often intertwined. “It was ok,” he said. “It was so not ok, but that was ok.” His words capture the complexity of this moment. We are called to dance and grieve simultaneously, to honor our pain while celebrating our survival.

So, as we conclude this holiday season, we ask ourselves: can we truly dance again? The answer is yes, but it will not be the same dance we have danced in years past. This year, our dance will be slower, heavier with the weight of loss. But it will also be filled with hope, defiance, and resilience. We will dance because we must. We will dance because that is how we honor those who have fallen. We will dance because, as Kelner reminds us, the Jewish people have always danced in the face of adversity. And we will continue to dance, strong, defiant, and unbroken.

References:

• Kelner, Shaul. “How a Small Holiday Became a Symbol of Jewish Resistance.” Forward. October 24, 2024.
• Torczyner, Rabbi Mordechai. “Shemini Atzeret 5785 – A Time to Grieve, A Time to Dance.” Eitz Chaim Weekly Dvar Torah, October 2024.
• Wiesel, Elie. The Jews of Silence: A Personal Report on Soviet Jewry. Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1966.
• Peretz, Rabbi Doron. “A Time of Horror, A Time of Happiness: An Interview with Rabbi Doron and Shira Peretz.” HaMizrachi. October 2024.