Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

How to answer a transphobe?

The question is as valid as: “How to answer a racist?” Allies of people in an oppressed group need to learn how to counter the oppressive nonsense.

“The concept of Transgenderism contradicts biology.”

1. No, gender identity is unchangeably hardwired into the brain.
2. You really want transmen to show up in women’s safe spaces? Because you seem to say that DNA is the criterion, not gender identity.
3. A feminist who doesn’t stand up for all women is not a feminist.
4. Actually, you rather would want all transpeople to disappear to solve your problem with them. Just like antisemites want Jews to disappear. Just like any oppressor thinks that the problem lies with the oppressed.

“Transwomen can include fake transfemale predators of women.”

1. There is not the slightest proof this ever happened. While there is a ton of evidence of cismen endangering women. Get your priorities straight.
2. This is like saying that Gentiles can’t become Jews for an antisemite might hide among them. Some born Jews feel that converts to Judaism can’t be ‘real’ Jews because they have no ‘Jewish DNA’ (there is no such thing). However, those are sentiments to shamefully overcome, not flaunt.
3. You seem to assume that all transwomen are really men attracted to women and capable of being their predators. Did it ever occur to you that many transwomen are attracted to men only?
4. A transwoman is not a man who chose to be a woman. It’s a woman who chooses to look like one. It’s abusive not to respect self-identification.

“LGB is about sexuality while T is about gender and not related.”

1. Transwomen were the bravest and most angry soldiers at the Stonewall Revolt. Let’s throw them out now they did their part? Similar mistreatment has been committed on Lesbians by straight feminists and on Jewish feminists by gentile feminists. After they built the general community, not stressing their otherness, the majority tries to get rid of them. This is plain transphobia, homophobia, and antisemitism, respectively.
2. LGBTQ is neither about sex nor about gender. Rather, it’s about creating a safe home community, learning a minority identity that fits best, and, often after many lonely years, finally belonging. Frequently, bullies don’t distinguish between G, L, B, or T. For them, they are all despicable. They are still different from each other so each gets their own letter/name. Just like White supremacists hate Blacks and Jews. Still, they have their own stories. Playing them against each other makes all their oppressed loose.
3. Both gender identity and sexual orientation are unalterably hardwired into the brain, possibly in similar ways, in related structures. This, though they are distinct from each other and occur independently of each other.
4. Transwomen belong to the most oppressed groups in society, especially in terms of murder and suicide. Only a bully would go after them not hindered by empathy or esteem. Bullies need to change their attitude or should be refused at safe communities that LGBTQAI+ groups try to build.

Gender dysphoria means suffering from their body not looking like their gender identity. They may be helped by passing as their gender. Yet, trying to adjust their gender to their sex is impossible. Not every transperson cares about a discrepancy between looks and identity. And many people don’t fit the binary: trans or cis. Don’t like it? Grow up and accept reality.

Oh, and unlike the interviewer in the above clip, I wouldn’t call someone ‘brave’ for being a transphobe. Only racists call people being racist ‘brave.’ Only thieves call bank robbers ‘brave.’ The proper word is ‘brazen.’ It may take guts but ‘brave’ is for doing something good. I could call them jerks.

We’re not at fault for being ignorant but we should get our ass informed.

FAQ answered by trans men and their spouses:

Popular science about trans:

A medical presentation about trans:

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance, also in Israel.

My earlier trans blog post you may find here, here, here, here, and here.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (, born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (statistics), Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500th blog post with the ToI. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having a peek outside of your cultural bubble. * NEW: To see other blog posts by him, his overspill blog you can reach by clicking on the Website icon next to his picture at the head of every post. There you may find precursors to later TOI blog posts, addition or corrections of published TOI blog posts, blog posts the TOI will not carry, and some thoughts that are too short to be a TOI blog post. Also, the TOI only allows for one blog post per blogger per 24 hours. Sometimes, he has more to say than that. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.