Sarah Tuttle-Singer
A Mermaid in Jerusalem

I literally can not even anymore with your safe space BS and trigger warnings

I literally can not even anymore with your safe space bullshit and trigger warnings.

Now, to be clear, I am not talking about trigger warnings for people who have suffered very real trauma and suffer from PTSD, or for marginalised groups of people who are literally afraid to breathe or they might get beaten up or killed because they’re gay or trans or a Person of Color.

I’m talking about the rest of us – those of us who have only suffered the indignities of a bad breakup, or maybe a bounced check, or gotten fired because we didn’t show up on time, or a FAIL on a driving test.

The rest of us who need to stop abusing trigger warnings and safe spaces.

Life is messy and big and complicated and scary and fucking amazing and all the things, except one thing: Life is not safe.

There are no safe spaces in life.

Except maybe in a padded cell. And good luck with that.

There is violence, there is rape. There is murder, there is corruption. There are earthquakes and there is cancer. There is cheating, and there are car accidents. And you get no warning. None.

I swear, we are tougher than this, and we are better than this, and this is helicopter parenting gone too far where we are ruining our children — our GROWN ASS children — by not giving them the tools how to be in the world where bad things happen, and were we are responsible to 1. stop these bad things from happening when we can, or 2. get to work and fix them if we cannot stop them.

And you know what, kids? (And by kids, I mean all of you 18-35 years olds out in the world and unwilling to cope.) You’re going to be ok.

But circle time is over, and while I understand the importance of identifying our feelings with clear “I statements,” and I’m all for it, it’s seriously getting a little mastrubatory up in here, and it’s time to actually do something with these feelings. Like talk to one another and disagree with another and push each others buttons a little because we aren’t going to move forward if we don’t, and there’s a long way ahead of us until we get to where we need to be.
It isn’t too late.

But when you LITERALLY ban people from sharing their perspective, or waving their flag in solidarity as you’ve done to Jewish and pro-Israel LGBTQ supporters in Chicago, you know what you’re doing? Not only are you acting like a bunch of spoiled children, you are also promoting intolerance.

Don’t like Israel’s policies? Fine. NEWSFLASH: Many Israelis don’t either. So criticise our leaders and our policies with us – as you would Trump and his polices if you’re critical of them.

That is legit, and important.

But flag banning? Seriously? What are you, five? You are sanctioning intolerance – the very thing you claim you’re fighting against. Except you’re giving it really pretty window dressing so it’s easy to miss – except I see it – and others do, too.

And it’s ugly.

So either be honest, and admit that’s what you’re doing so we’re clear.

Or grow the fuck up and stop, and instead start talking to those you disagree with.

About the Author
Sarah Tuttle-Singer is the author of Jerusalem Drawn and Quartered and the New Media Editor at Times of Israel. She was raised in Venice Beach, California on Yiddish lullabies and Civil Rights anthems, and she now lives in Jerusalem with her 3 kids where she climbs roofs, explores cisterns, opens secret doors, talks to strangers, and writes stories about people — especially taxi drivers. Sarah also speaks before audiences left, right, and center through the Jewish Speakers Bureau, asking them to wrestle with important questions while celebrating their willingness to do so. She loves whisky and tacos and chocolate chip cookies and old maps and foreign coins and discovering new ideas from different perspectives. Sarah is a work in progress.