Recently, I celebrated twenty years of marriage with my wonderful husband. We couldn’t believe it. Blink, you’ve grown up. Blink, you graduated college. Blink, you’ve chosen the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Blink, you have children, do something major like make aliyah, you turn around and blink, your children are practically grownups. If you are lucky, you have made the most of your time and enjoyed all the special moments along the way, even the everydayness of life.
I wanted to write about this in an upbeat manner, but even though it is a most wonderful milestone for us, other milestones seem to be happening all around and they tug at my heart. This summer brings home to me just how fast life can go by, and how much we need to remember that. We need to do those things we keep putting off (no, don’t wait for a round tuit, not all of us receive one).
Why do I tell you this? Because my mother is very sick, and the doctors are frankly amazed she is still here. And the hospice social worker came to talk to her about the things she’d still like to do, her “bucket list.” And yes, we will all likely get to the end of our time with things we haven’t done. But ask yourself, what are you putting off that you *could* do? What if someone told you that all your plans for retirement — do them now, because no one is guaranteed even tomorrow. That big trip, that place you always wanted to visit? Don’t wait till you’re suddenly sick and you don’t have the ability to even go to the grocery store for yourself to realize, hey, I should have taken the time to go there when I could have.
Regret is the most useless feeling, unless you share it with others who can prevent that regret.
This week is the nine days, ending with Tisha B’av, where we fast and mourn our lost Beit Hamikdash, the Jewish Temple. In the blink of an eye, two thousand years have passed, and we somehow have not earned it back yet, earned an end to strife and war, an an to our sorrows. We still fight world opinion of us as a people.Let’s not regret any more time wasted, and let’s do something positive, anything we can to change our situation. I am trying to do more mitzvot, something good to improve the world.
Because you know, in the blink of an eye, it could all be gone.
This is written for the refuah and nechamah for Rachel Devora bat Dinah Yehudit.