Israeli Spy Captured

Those clever Mossad spies have been infiltrating Arab countries disguised as eagles, storks, kestrels and even sharks.

The latest to reveal the nefarious Zionist plot are the watchful spy catchers of Hizbullah.  They are holding prisoner an Israeli eagle captured flying over Lebanon carrying electronic spying gear.

In Israel there are eagles and there are Eagles.  The capitalized ones are F-15s, one of the world’s most powerful fighters and a sometime-presence in Lebanese airspace , but the wings on the eagle captured by those vigilant Hizbullah terrorists were covered with feathers.

It was a Bonelli’s Eagle, an endangered raptor that is in great peril; only nine pairs of mating age remain in Israel.  It had a satellite tracking device attached to its back and a copper ring on its leg that reads “Israel” in English and letters referring to Tel Aviv University.

Like their counterparts around the world, Israeli ornithologists track birds and migration routes – Israel is at the crossroads of one of the world’s busiest migration corridors — by satellite transmitters .

“The whole field of conservation is based on regional cooperation,” said Israeli ornithologist Yossi Leshem, who collaborates often with Jordanian and Palestinian counterparts. but “not this nonsense.”

The “nonsense” he was referring to was a boast by Hezbollah’s Al-Manar website that it had captured a dangerous and clever Israeli infiltrator.

The Associated Press reports  the fate of Agent Bonelli “remains unclear.” The spy is probably being grilled day and night by Hizbullah’s eagle-eyed interrogators intent on forcing it to give up the secrets of its Mossad spymasters. 

Any day now I expect Al-Manar to announce it has gotten a full confession, held a trial, convicted the spy and sentenced it to die, according to Halal.

Hizbullah’s geniuses aren’t the only spy catchers.  Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Turkey have made similar unfounded espionage accusations against migrating birds from Israel, Leshem told the AP. 

And it’s not just the Mossad’s aviary fleet that is spying on Israel’s ever-vigilant neighbors and enemies.  Egypt recently accused the Mossad of training sharks to attack swimmers off the Sinai to drive away tourists. 

Some other Arab conspiracy theories include Israel spreading libido-boosting “sex gum” in Gaza, polio vaccines laced with anti-fertility agents to sterilize Muslim children and AIDS-infected melons exported to Arab counties.  And did you know the Coca-Cola logo is anti-Islamic and Pepsi is a Zionist acronym, Tom and Jerry is a “Zionist cartoon conspiracy,” Jews are training wild boars and pigs to make scary sounds and uproot Arabs’ trees, and Jews are conspiring with the Muslim Brotherhood to control Muslims? 

How did they ever find out? 

About the Author
Douglas M. Bloomfield is a syndicated columnist, Washington lobbyist and consultant. He spent nine years as the legislative director and chief lobbyist for AIPAC.