We proudly announce the entry into the Israeli election race of a new and surprise party, the Isranglo Party, made up exclusively of young and not so young Israelis of English and American extraction, founded and led by none other than the venerable 92-year-old, ex-New Yorker bodybuilder-columnist, Arthur “Art” Frankenstine, and the formidable 25-year-old jazz pianist Lily Disraeli who claims descent from no less an historical figure than Benjamin Disraeli himself. The other Israeli parties are watching in awed amazement as Israeli Anglos of all ages and persuasions flock to join the new party which is working at great speed to present its political program and the party anthem to be composed by the gifted Jerusalem Anglo rock singer-songwriter Ben “Baldy” Rubin. In this issue we introduce the election platform and personalities of this remarkable new Israeli party. In the meantime, spread the word and prepare to join in the election fun.
THE PARTY PLATFORM
*All Party members will be required to prove their English or American or Anglo ancestry and that they can still speak English.
*Cricket and baseball will replace football as Israel’s main sports.
*Every Israeli will be able to earn a living, and giving, wage – i.e. a minimum wage of $5000 per month with the dollar pegged at NIS10 per dollar. This, and the 3-day working week, and free housing for Isranglo Party members, is part of the Party’s acclaimed “social justice” program.
*Every day at 4 p.m. the Knesset will adjourn for tea and scones.
*All American and English Jews will automatically become Israeli citizens and pay a nominal tax to the Israel Treasury to help balance our national deficit.
* Reading and understanding the Haaretz English Edition Post will be compulsory Bagrut subjects
*All cars will have a top speed of 50 kmh and Israeli drivers will drive on the left in order to cut road accidents by 95 percent.
*Isranglos will occupy the presidency, premiership and IDF Commander positions
*Hebrew will be read and written from left to right to make life easier for Olim from English-speaking countries.
*At elections rallies Isranglo members will sing the Isranglo Party anthem after the Hatikva.
*Isranglo youngsters who become bat or barmitzvah will automatically be eligible to vote for the Party.
*English will not replace Hebrew as the main language in Israel, but the Isranglo Party is introducing a female version of Hebrew, Shebrew, to make life easier for Israel’s overworked and underpaid women.
THE ISRANGLO PARTY CANDIDATES:
*Arthur Frankenstine- 95-year-old bodybuilder-columnist, originally from New York, in Israel since 1947. “You’re never too old to lead the country. Just look at Shimon!”
*Lily Disraeli, 26, international jazz pianist, inspired to enter politics by ancestor Benjamin Disraeli. “My vast international jazz experience and family background makes me ideal for the post of Foreign Minister.”
*Yerachmiel “Jerry” Smith-Levy, 47, London-born Haredi rabbi, convinced that the British and American lifestyles are Torah-based. Hopes to be appointed Minister of Religions.
*Flora Strudelmayer, 86, American baking family heiress, married 12 times, world authority on marital relations.
*Samson “Good News” Ooze, 50, is currently editing the Anglofile Isranglo Party Supplement. Slated to be Minister of Defense.
*Pelvis MCLevy, 74, trash-rock pop idol, believed to be distantly related to Beatle Paul MCartney. Famous for his immortal hit “Aliya Rock.” In line to be the next Minister of Education.
*Sheikh “Bill” Sapeer, 44, renowned Arab-Isranglo dramatist, widely considered to be a reincarnation of the Bard of Avon.
*Lord Mark Spencer, 39, wealthy textile manufacturer, Oxford educated, said to be richest man in Middle East. Denies any connection with Marks & Spencer. Favorite to be Minister of Finance in the Isranglo-led government.
*Nelson Mandelbrot, 66, South African born, dentist, recently released from prison for illicit drilling. Says his experience makes him ideal candidate for Ministry of Interior.
*Golda Mayer-Green, 80, Jewish women’s rights leader, believes the Isranglo Party will radically transform life in Israel for the better. Leading candidate for Ministry of Women’s Affairs in Isranglo-led government.
VERY LATEST ISRANGLO PARTY ELECTION NEWS
• Likud denies persistent rumors that Bibi is planning to join the Isranglo Party.
• Latest polls give the Isranglo Party a whopping 50 seats
• Isranglo Party anthem, “Isranglos Forever”, voted best election jingle.
• Dramatic increase in Aliya from English–speaking countries attributed to Isranglo Party popularity
• Frankenstine announces that the emblem on the Isranglo election banner will feature Uri Fink’s legendary Israel superhero Sabraman with the Shield of David on his chest.
• It has just been announced that Queen Elizabeth II of England has graciously accepted the Party’s invitation to attend the inaugural Isranglo Party ball. It will be her first official visit to the Jewish state.
• Due to the unprecedented popularity of the new party thousands of Israelis are rushing to learn English and be able to follow the progress of their beloved Party in the English daily press.
• Shelly Yecimovitz hotly denies that she is related to the famed British poet Percy Bysshe Shelley.
• Over 2 billion people have already viewed the Isranglo Party anthem on Youtube.
Catch up with all the latest Party news and views in the forthcoming issue of the 250-page Isranglo Party Supplement containing the Party Manifesto, exclusive and lavishly illustrated features on all the Party candidates, and the lyrics of the Isranglo Party anthem, plus congratulatory messages from dozens of world leaders.