What would you say to this, my dear readers, if I told you that I need a break and that I am tired of dealing with the criticism that comes from the innocent and (oh so) harmless desire to write and share my thoughts and ideas in a public, online forum?
How would I explain to those of you who are on the other side of my keyboard that I want to be able to go to sleep at night without feeling like my insides are churning in a way that only a double cheese pizza topped with hot chili peppers could mirror? That I want to be able to give an opinion, yes an opinion, without being bowled over like the bowling pins in a state wide bowling league championship?
I know that bad PR is still PR but who says I want to be criticized?
(One second, gotta place a call to Mom to be reminded of my awesomeness.)
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will hurt my mojo.
What happened to the good old days when life was all about a cappuccino, when trolls were only found in fairy tales and when girlie talk usually didn’t include anything about a latest blog post ?
Well I have a surprise for you to swallow with your last gulp of morning coffee. I am here to inform you that the answer is NO. I am not quitting (unless we are talking about Marlboro lights) and no, I am not taking a break from writing because it’s my time.
Oh come on, you should all know me well enough by now to know that I won’t quit, because I am reminisce of that really annoying label in your underwear that you thought you could ignore and keep under control when you left the house in the morning but by late afternoon is causing you to contemplate lingerie suicide. I don’t go away and if you rub me the wrong way, I will rub you right back with a foot loofah…rough side up baby.
So I am not taking a break but the only thing that I am changing, even if it’s only temporarily, is that I am now going to take a swing at being on the giving end of reviewing and critiquing. No, this is not a blatant example of Stockholm’s syndrome so let’s not read into it too much because whatever the reason is for this initiative I will still aim to mostly entertain and not to complain too much or bully anyone else (unless they deserve it, of course).
I will tread softly and carry a virtual hatchet, doing all of the fun things I love to do, visiting the great places I love to go but, in the meanwhile, sharing my experiences online so that others can also benefit or at least be well informed.
That’s right Mr. Coffee shop owner. Just because you have a cute little café that Bibi loves to drink his morning coffee in doesn’t mean that I will love you too because I am not Bibi and if you don’t have change for a twenty, if you left a hair in my biscotti or if you talked too loudly on the phone before I had a chance to ingest my first dose of caffeine of the day, you will not be feeling my love.
On the flip side, when you serve me a meal, a show, an idea or an experience that is one step short of orgasmic bliss, I will write you up a review that is so filled with praise and glory that you will want your son to marry my daughter, or something like that.
So before I conclude with my well wishes and words of peace-to-the-world and before I start spreading my Devo-meter around town rating everyone, everywhere and everything I do, I turn to you, my dear readers, and implore you to please use some of that fabulous creativity that so many of you have to help me by sharing your ideas regarding a perfect name for my collection of upcoming reviews.(Please don’t suggest “Debbie does Jerusalem” since that domain name is already taken.)
And if you have a place you would like me to visit and review just let me know. I am game for almost anything.