It’s Time to Let Go of the ‘Sofa’ Complex

In February 2023, three prominent Israeli authors — Matti Friedman, Daniel Gordis, and Yossi Klein Halevi — together penned an open letter to American Jews that spread like wildfire. The letter proclaimed that Diaspora Jewry had “both the right and the responsibility” to oppose Israeli government actions that would undermine the country’s judicial system.

Why did this letter garner so much attention within the Jewish community? What was groundbreaking about it? Well, a lot! You see, for many years the organized Jewish community, the organizations that held sway over much of the American Jewish community, had a common theme: “Do not (ever) speak criticism of the Israeli government in the public square!”  We were all expected to support Team Israel.

 Our internal Jewish community conversations regarding the actions of the Israeli government were no less fraught. For decades, those who spoke to fellow Jews with criticism of the Israeli government’s policies or actions were often subjected to an emotional critique of their motives. Could those critiquing the Israeli government have any right to air disagreements when they speak from the comfort of their American sofas? Their critique couldn’t be welcomed or affirmed as legitimate.

Such silencing does not benefit connections to Israel. To be sure, a telltale sign of any strong, healthy relationship is the ability to acknowledge and directly address disagreement. Sadly, the last two years have provided too many heart-wrenching tests for Diaspora Jewry’s relationship with Israel–from the judicial coup, to October 7, to the resulting Gaza war. During this challenging time, the actions of Jewish communal leaders have demonstrated that it is time to bid farewell to the American Jewish community’s “sofa” complex with Israel.

For example, in the spirit of the Friedman-Gordis-Halevi letter, displays of support from US Jewish leaders for the democracy protests in Israel and in opposition to the government’s proposed judicial reforms appeared in abundance in 2023–a clear insertion of Diaspora voices into Israeli domestic issues.

Rabbi Rick Jacobs, president of the Union for Reform Judaism, became the first non-Israeli citizen to address pro-democracy protesters in Tel Aviv in February 2023, telling the crowd, “We will never turn back or walk away from this place we love. We’re going to lean in even harder and fight for the values of this country alongside all of you.”

Jacobs was followed two months later by National Council of Jewish Women CEO Sheila Katz, the first US Jewish leader who addressed the demonstrators in English. In her remarks, Katz issued a clarion call: “If you love Israel, if you call yourself a Zionist: Get off the couch and into the streets.”

Even groups like the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, the American Jewish Committee, and the Jewish Federations of North America weighed into Israel’s judicial debate at various points. 

Later that same year, on October 7, Hamas carried out its horrific attack against Israel, sparking the war from which Israelis, Palestinians, and the world are still reeling.

Rightfully, the United States came directly to Israel’s aid. President Biden directed a carrier strike group to the Eastern Mediterranean Sea one day after Hamas’ ambush, and he personally visited Israel in a major show of friendship ten days later.

Over the course of the following year, the strength of the US-Israel relationship was on full display, with Israel’s war with Hamas and the regional fallout putting US service members at risk–both in defense of Israel from Iran and from attacks on regional US military bases by Iranian proxies–and costing US taxpayers billions of dollars. The war has clearly demonstrated that Israel’s actions do indeed carry implications for the United States.

As a Jewish American, as a rabbi who prioritizes fostering Jewish connection to Israel, I am heartened by the engagement I’ve seen from communal leaders over the last two years. And I am glad to see that in a time of need, America showed that our relationship with Israel is sincere.

These terrible events, while concerning and tragic, have shown how interrelated Israel is with Jews globally and especially in the United States. It is heartening to observe the threads of connection remaining strong. Now Jewish Americans are once again finding that our inter-related connections with Israel challenge us to acknowledge the impact it has on us and to be actively engaged.

J Street–the pro-Israel, pro-peace, pro-democracy advocacy group–has understood that premise since its founding 17 years ago. I am a proud member of J Street’s Rabbinic and Cantorial Cabinet, a group of more than 1,100 Jewish clergy. Our cabinet was convened out of the organization’s valuing our particular connection to our Jewish homeland. J Street recognizes the stakes we have in Israel’s survival as a Jewish and democratic state, lifting up our voice in speaking up for what we believe to be right and in Israel’s best interest. We understand that our voice will not be the decisive one, as we don’t live there, (even though I am coming up to my 40th trip to Israel this summer.)  But our hearts and Jewish souls tell us that we must be able to have a voice. It deserves to be heard.

It is very encouraging to see US Jewish communal leaders begin to see the value of the approach J Street has championed for almost 18 years now. We know that we, the Jewish people, have always been strengthened by robust dialogue and discourse over important matters. This is the way of the rabbis of our tradition, and it is ours. 

We hope that our international Jewish family – Am Yisrael – will continue to be strengthened by our speaking our truth. In fact, we are currently in the process of registering our votes in the World Zionist Congress (convening once every 5 years) elections, voting for the parties that represent our values. What an opportunity–we can truly seize this moment! ! Once again, this is a time to leave our reservations behind – on the sofa where they belong. As Friedman, Gordis, and Halevi acknowledged, “We need your voice to help us preserve Israel as a state both Jewish and democratic.” This is our voice too!