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David Kilimnick

JERUSALEM TOUR: Government Buildings & What Have You

Givat Ram is an area which houses a lot of government buildings and museums.
The Givat Ram campus of Hebrew University was completed in 1948, when the Jews had no access to Mount Scopus, after many years of classes being held in random homes and buildings around Jerusalem. They realized they had to build a campus when they noticed that many of the classrooms’ poor attendance was due to people not answering the door.
The university always kept its classes going without a campus, the ancient equivalent of a degree online. I am not racist, so I will not project that it had anything to do with Jews ranking academically very hi on the Bell Curve, or Jews valuing education.
Har Hatzofim campus is back and running and I have no idea what they are doing at Givat Ram. They might have classes. The overseas students are at Mount Scopus as they have buildings there. The Israel library is housed at the Givat Ram campus, with every Hebrew book in their catalog. That is one room in a building. I do not know what the rest of the campus is there for.
The campus is housed right next to the Jerusalem Botanical Garden with 600,000 types of rare plants that you will not notice.

We are now passing the Israel Museum housing the Shrine of The Book from the Qumran Caves, in a Tajin shaped building, because the people who found the Dead Sea Scrolls like Moroccan food.
The Israel Museum now houses the Bible Land Museum. You will also find ancient Egyptian artifacts and other valuable ancient stuff that the Israeli government felt it was better that they steal.

The Knesset, is the main building of the Israel parliament, and that is located to your side. There is a lot of fighting going on here. There are 120 members, similar to the leaders involved in the Great Assembly at the time of the Second Temple. The only difference is that the leaders involved in the Great Assembly had to be knowledgeable.
Statements come out of the Knesset, like ‘Iran has a nuclear program,’ and other stuff that everybody has been saying for the past 10 years. All of the citizens of Israel vote for them to make these statements.
The main thing as a Jerusalemite is to have a view of the Knesset. The goal of a Jerusalemite is to say, ‘I have a view of the Knesset,’ and then to point so your guest know what you are talking about. Built by the same guy who built Ramot Polin and that building on the corner of King George and Agron, the Knesset is thankfully one of the ugliest buildings. But I do have a view of it and I am proud.

Israel Supreme Court- The Beit Hamishpat HaElyon (for those who understand transliteration), has 15 seats, as to allow for more arguments. You will notice it is shaped as a pyramid, because Jews like building pyramids. The new building took 3 years to build, after 7 years of planning. As one Knesset member said, ‘It would have been built faster if the Egyptians would have told us what to do.’

The Jerusalem Cinematheque has now been built as a homage to people who still do not have internet.

About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: david@israelcomedy.com 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.