It is all Gilo

Lets continue back on Derech Chevron. We are stuck now, in what is known as a left turning lane, on the right side of the road. We will find a way to make this left turn, even if it means getting hit by a cab.

We are now looking at Har Choma (not pronounced Har Homa either- the ‘ch’ is supposed to help you figure out how to pronounce a ‘Chet’- even that makes no sense. It is the chaching sound you have, right before you are going to spit up. That is why I am using a ‘ch.’ It is a Hebrew thing and I will never be able to explain this on paper. Think about it not as ‘chat’ or the song lyrics ‘cha cha cha, but think back of the throat phlegm).
Har Choma is another Jerusalem neighborhood not in Jerusalem. It was built up a good fifteen years ago, and is another neighborhood where Jews are blamed for living in Israel. The Har Choma neighborhood proudly joins the Jerusalem municipality as they like to pay hi building taxes (arnona) too.
Officially known as Homat Shmuel, the hill is also known as Jabal Abu Ghneim, which is Arabic for ‘we do not want you here.’ Its namesake is Shmuel Meir, a Jerusalem mayor who helped build up the hill (which is ironic- Meir and mayor- I can go on all day with how funny that is). You can also find a lot of culture here, such falafel shops with טעם של פעם (the taste of yesteryear), and parents yelling at children.
It is near other ancient stuff. Elisha hid by here, because there are mountains and nobody liked going out into the desert.
There is also Greek monastery somewhere in the area. You will see that when you see a building. You might even see some synagogues, so keep your eyes open.
Har Choma was supposed to be built up in the 1980s. However, that was opposed by environmental groups who were protecting the natural resources of the desert. As Har Choma has an ancient church by it, protesters made sure the country knows how important mortar is to the natural landscape.

Gilo- We are now in Gilo.
Built in 1967, there are around eight of them. Any two buildings, built next to each other, on the south side of Jerusalem is called Gilo. It is surprising that Har Choma is not called Gilo. However, they decided not to call Har Choma Gilo, as three names was enough.
If you cannot afford a home in Jerusalem, Gilo is for you.
Gilo is a suburban neighborhood, of buildings. Built with bumps on the streets, Gilo has been designed to remind you that you should get new shocks and tires. The bumps also let you know that there might be people, somewhere. Children have a tendency to run into streets, and parents have a tendency to not care about their kids. The bumps let you know to speed up after the bump and to not to hit the children at a bump. Outside of the schools, there are also children holding stop signs, to remind you that you should stop at crosswalks and follow traffic laws.
Gilo is also famous for its summer camps for children, known as a ‘Kaytana,’ or day camp, because these poor people cannot afford to get rid of their children for the whole summer. The goal of every American parent, to not have to see their children ever, has not been mastered for the young Israeli child. However, amazing high school and post high school techniques have been developed, as can be seen with Israeli boarding schools and the army. Even with these Israeli techniques of ridding yourself of bothersomeness, the children still come home for the weekends.
Not much they can do about this, as Israel is a small country. We in Israel, have a dream too, that one day we- like American families- will also be able to show the necessary lack of care for our offspring, which makes for an enjoyable vacation. We have been catching up with America when it comes to lack of care and visitation for grandparents. Now the goal is to not have to see the next generation.
Archaeological digs have discovered ancient stuff. Even dating back as far as the First Temple, there were people in Israel.
Why are those people not standing at the bus stop? Very good question. Here is the Tremp Yada to the Gush Etzion area. Tremping meaning hitchhiking spot. It is considered much safer as the word used is Tremp. The reason they are not standing by the bus stop is because, if they took a bus, then they would have to pay.
Let us move to the next Gilo mountain. You will notice a wall with a mural showing what life would be like if Beit Jala was not right across the way.
Gilo abosorbed 15% of the Soviet Jews who moved to Jerusalem, making them a place that has the same percentage of Soviet Jews as the rest of Jerusalem.
We are now going to take a lunch break in Gilo Park, the forest over here, so that your children can get lost. The park was built, as the Jewish National Fund decided not to use the money for the trees that were purchased by the kindergartners in America. A great way to get rid of your children for a while, the residents of Gilo owe a great debt of gratitude to the JNF. As the town representatives have exclaimed, ‘Thank you for siphoning the funds, JNF.’

Here, you will notice. I hope you all saw that.

Beit Safafa- An Arab village in Jerusalem, meaning ‘House of the Narrow Benches,’ because the Jerusalem municipality does not care how uncomfortable people are when they are waiting for buses.
People live here. An Arab village right smack in the middle of Jerusalem, it is considered a neighborhood in Jerusalem. Calling it an Arab village helps bring down the housing tax.
You can buy Jerusalem Stone here. If anybody would like to purchase some Jerusalem Stone, to show your friends overseas how limestone looks, you can pick it up right now. Yes it is heavy. Try to put it in your carry-on luggage.
To note its uniqueness, Beit Safafa is an ancient village, located in Israel.
In 1863, an explorer, explored it. This tourist said it had 30 houses. Unless you are on a boat and risking your life, you are a tourist. I would like to say, ‘A person walking around, on vacation in 1863, saw some people.’ I noticed that there was a whole city when I visited Copenhagen and I put in a journal that there were people on bicycles. Nonetheless, I do not claim to be an explorer.
Cars get washed here. You can see how this is a distinctively not Jewish area, as there is a lot of manual labor being done right now.

Look to your left, you will notice an animal.
You missed it.

Now let us move back into the Jerusalem that people care about.

About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.