To our most powerful ally, the only ally we’ll need, the ally who provides us with diplomatic cover in the United Nations over and over again, I say this with the deepest of respect and gratitude for all of the help you so often give us.
Stay the f*ck away from us…but keep sending the money.
Send the money so that we can spend it in America on weapons and weapons systems that we can buy and bring over here to update with our own domestic technology. Send money so that we can eavesdrop effectively on
America’s Israel’s enemies, send money so that we can buy your overpriced aircraft that are still the best in the world. Send money so that we can collect and send you intelligence.
Send money so that we can send it right back to American firms to pay American workers, so that Americans can live happy lives in nice big homes surrounded by white picket fences.
But John Kerry, don’t f*cking come here any more.
All around the world countries are crying out for American involvement in their affairs, from Ukraine to Yemen; weak countries threatened by powerful neighbours require American power, American diplomacy, American help and they get none. You are silent as tyrants run roughshod over their borders and into their capital cities. You are silent not in word but in deed. All over the world democratic nations need more than an American President, they need a leader of the free world to stand by them and to stand up for them.
Instead, they got you and your boss Obama.
But Mr Kerry, instead of helping these countries, these governments, you choose instead to come to Israel.
You and your president have made Israel your pet cause. Lord knows (pun intended) that we Israelis aren’t perfect, but when it comes to terror we, unlike you, are able to handle terrorists. Even those to the left of the political spectrum are aware that terror in the short term is dealt with killing terrorists. And if that isn’t clear enough let me elaborate. When a 13-year-old boy comes, knife in hand and stabs another 13-year-old boy then that 13 year old with a knife is looking for a bullet fired by an American gun with an Israeli finger on the trigger.
Don’t come here, John Kerry. We’ve got this under control. You should head to the Ukraine and shake Putin out of the illusion that his little Rhineland move over there actually worked and that now he is free to embark on reckless adventurism throughout the Middle East.
Perhaps make Beirut your next stop, perhaps you could visit some of the newly erected refugee camps that your lack of policy has ensured will exist for generations to come. The United States followed by the United Kingdom are the biggest funders of these refugee camps, in the hope that displaced Syrians will stay in the camps and not turn up in your countries.
A policy almost as spectacular a failure as your attempt to bring peace to Israelis and Palestinians. But not quite.
And now you’re coming back. What for, no one really knows. But you’re coming and we have to accept you because the American veto in the UN is at stake, American money is at stake, American weapons are at stake and the world hates us so much that, without these, we’re toast.
But instead of forcing yourself on us, instead of insisting on endless meetings to talk about how many houses Israel is or isn’t permitted to build in Jerusalem, outside Jerusalem or in Hebron you might want to open your eyes and look at a world that’s slipping into chaos thanks to the fact that you and your boss have withdrawn American might from a world that desperately needs it and focussed American diplomacy in the one place you’re never going to get any results.
Your incompetence has cost lives. Your incompetent meddling in this conflict has emboldened your enemies and shaken your friends. Your failure to intervene where you are needed has done the same.
John Kerry, don’t come here, we have enough problems already and you have enough work to be getting on with elsewhere.