Allyson Altit

L O V E and the 4 C’s

In a recent conversation with my youngest daughter, we spoke about LOVE.

How interesting yet complicated LOVE can be at times, but does it really need to be the latter when it is?

It is obvious to me that within all of the versions of LOVE there are key components necessary and what I refer to as the 4 C’S: A CALLING coupled with A CRAVING will give you the CONCLUSION but only if it is coupled with COURAGE.

What is clear to me is that while we have so many types of love: love between two people, the love for a child, for a parent, for a sibling and a friend too, there is even love for a country, which is very unique and just as powerful. Any TRUE LOVE is complete once we recognize the components when they are essentially in front of us, so we need to respond naturally.

Unfortunately, some may make a mistake in LOVE and they do not face the C’s, which results in a loss for them and they must live with that mistake. If you are a part of such a situation and have been the only courageous one then you will not be the one to live with the mistake; you will move ahead.

With any type of LOVE it makes more sense to me that a situation feel peaceful rather than chaotic, so if it is complicated be cautious.

When we began to reflect on an anniversary my husband and I just celebrated (32 years), my daughter and I began to reminisce on how it all began and also compared that time to the present day in my relationship. The conversation went back to the same thing, which boiled down to the time my husband and I listened to our instincts, our gut feeling about one another 32 years ago and we put our faith and our courage together to move onto a most important chapter in the life; the part that began with marriage. Is it easy to do? NO. But when it is right and it fits, then you go for it. But if it doesn’t fit, no matter how much you try, it cannot be forced. That is where so many people get mixed up with the key components necessary to moving on with life.

Believe it or not I learned a great lesson about the LOVE for a country where the message was just as relevant to the LOVE between people. I learned this in a recent TORAH class when my Rabbi, Rabbi Yisroel, expressed this thought regarding love for Israel. In that moment a light bulb went off in my head when I heard this:
“If you truly love, you will not be satisfied being passive about the object of your love: you will want to protect it, guard it, work for it, and if necessary, sacrifice for it.”

Isn’t that the truth?!

But then I also learned of a beautiful quote from my daughter, which is also the truth and can be so pertinent to any and all LOVES.

“To give and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love”-Oscar Wilde


Thank you for a great conversation to one of my best friends, a daughter.

About the Author
Allyson Altit is from New York. She has worked in the travel industry for over 30 years as a leisure specialist. Her area of expertise is in European destinations and Israel. She has been involved with charity work for the Hadassah organization as well. In 2009 she graduated from Queens College majoring in Jewish studies. She has just completed writing her first novel...
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