Life on earth without a Galaxy

Day 1

Growl

No internet or Facebook on this loaner phone I got to replace my Samsung Galaxy S3 while it is being fixed. This Nokia is in the realm of smart phones which I can attest to considering that it has outsmarted me.

I am now officially dumber than my smart phone.

But no worries, I can send text messages and make phone calls…oh wait. Minor problem. I don’t have anyone’s phone numbers. I can’t believe that I really don’t know anyone’s numbers! As a kid, I remembered all phone numbers by heart. What has happened to my memory??

I tried to share my status on Facebook. I had to open my computer to share my ten minute old (the amount of time it takes to take out my computer and turn it on) distress. So much for real time.

My Nokia has a camera, so I took a great pic of the kids using the phone’s camera and now I have no one to share it with. It is trapped in the abyss of the phone until I find a way to email it or until I get a cord to connect it to my computer.

Strangely enough, I keep fidgeting.

I became aware of this incessant  fidgeting during dinner with my parents. It may have to do with not knowing what to do with my hands. I opened up my laptop at the table. Maybe it was due to my FOMO or maybe because I just felt like I had gotten used to having a window seat and watching the world fly by in color and right now, I was simply looking straight at a brick wall.

On my way home the person in front of me backed into my car. There I was, stuck without my smart phone, no phone numbers to my bodywork guy to ask him what to do or to my insurance agent to consult with him about what to do. I couldn’t even take a pic of the damage to my car or to his using my Galaxy camera.

The world is a cruel place when you are dumber than your phone.

Day 2

Disconnected.

Woke up in the morning on the second day without my smart phone. I am used to, first thing, checking my phone to see who posted’ commented and wrote to me what before I get out of bed.

Nothing happening.

Instead, I got up, folded the laundry and started to get ready for work. The entire morning, until I got to work, I focused on my life at hand. Funny how life beomes WYSIWYG when you have no technology. How plain and ordinary…and focused.

No, I will not resort  to buying an I pad to fill the void.

No shoe shopping to make me feel calm.

No calling up stalker ex-boyfriend to see if he wants to meet me for drinks tonight.

No, no no. I will read a book. Do I even own a book I would want to read? Oh wait. I do (side glance at books piled on my night table). Ok, start reading…..slowly dose off.

Phone ringing in the distance, is it a dream? No. Actually it’s my sister. “Why aren’t you answering the messages I sent you on What’sApp?” she asks.

Why didn’t I answer? WHY didn’t I…oh never mind. I don’t have What’s App, Facebook, Gmail or any other useful application on my phone right now. I can text message and make phone calls. That’s it!

That night I went to meet friends whom I was completely 100% sure invited me via Facebook to join them in their home (if only I had Facebook I for sure would have seen the invite so what the hell). While hanging out with all of my SMART friends I felt sub-par as they continuously took pictures of us having fun, and kept posting status updates of who we were with and what we were doing. I sat on the couch and drank a vodka chaser. Weeee! Pass the beef jerky.

Later that evening at the toy bar, there was no way for me to do a “check in”. I just talked to people and drank my drink in peace. I kept SMS’s from my friend and so I kept responding using the three alphabet letters per key method of texting. Beep boop boop beep boop went the key pad. Sheesh.

I am missing my Samsung galaxy so much. And in spite of it’s delay, I shall await its return each day as it comes. (Psalms)

Day 3

Staring at a brick wall

After three hours of sleep I got up and into my exercise clothes and was off for my morning workout. All of a sudden, I realized that all of my music was saved on my Samsung Galaxy and my only other option was my Ipod nano, which happens to be dead due to the fact that I just never bothered recharging it. Great, just great! How will I run without my music? I asked my Dad if he had any sort of replacement to my gangsta music. All he could offer me was an MP3 player with Dennis Prager lectures on it. I politely declined.

No interruptions during my workout. Instead of accepting the fact that nobody really wanted to talk to me that morning, I found comfort in hiding behind the social injustice of not having a smart phone. I mean, I am so sure that everyone is sending me messages and calling via What’sApp. On the other hand, can’t anyone read my status? “Not online since December 3rd”! You do the math. Either I am dead or just dumb!

Later that day, after finally making it home to my computer and checking who contacted me while I was out, and responding to my emails I started to get ready to meet my friend in TA. I mean, so what if I didn’t have Waze or a GPS? I was feeling confident in my ability to read the map book.

I set out to TA, penniless (unable to take out any cash from the bank machine after all of my pin numbers and bank codes were saved in my smart phone). I just never saw the need to remember anything at all when my Galaxy wonder could do it for me. I couldn’t really make any phone calls on my way either because I could barely hear anything on the speaker of this little dork phone!

I arrived in TA enthusiastically following my Israeli map book’s directions, feeling pride in my self-sufficient genius when suddenly I found myself face to face to a map lover’s worst nightmare: the big red circle with a white line through it road sign: No entry! Isn’t that always the way? I guess smarty pants map book forgot to mention which streets were now one-way, which were closed for construction and most importantly how to reroute myself while simultaneously driving, reading the map book balanced on my knees and swerving between the lanes I SHOULD be in and the oncoming traffic lanes I WAS in simply because I didn’t realize that this particular street is a two way street.

I made it to my destination, not because of my brilliant navigational skills but because he came and rescued me. The conversation went something like this:

“Where are you?”

“I am in Tel Aviv.”

“Where in Tel Aviv?”

“I don’t know because I don’t have a GPS.”

“Look at the street signs and tell me.”

“Ok but the street sign is broken because of construction. Just wait, I will drive further and see what the next sign says….(driving, driving, driving, driving, driving) ok. I am on Kaufmann Street.”

“Don’t move. I am coming to meet you and you can follow me.”

My hero.

While we sat at the bar my phone didn’t interrupt us at all by flashing it’s seductive lights at me, dinging or making all these crazy noises which even i don’t always know what they are for. I actually was paying attention, fully, completely, to the person I was with. Ok fine, not complete attention, after all, I am only human. Wouldn’t you also be tempted to watch the guy over there, just over his left shoulder, the one with the Santa hat who kept making these weird snorting noises when he laughed? Who can concentrate through that unless you are on Ritalin or crack????

I love being independent. I really do and my Galaxy opens up my world and makes the world more user friendly. The only problem is that it seems to have taken the place of my real world. I guess I am wondering how it is that the absence of my phone has forced me to rely on others even if it was only to rely on him to buy me cigarettes since I have zero cash because of my dumbness.

I guess I am enjoying being a little bit less independent and a little more focused. I didn’t say I am giving up smart phones, I am just thinking out loud. That’s all. Hmm, what should I do next?

Well, tomorrow is another day.