Marital Advice

I just learned a source for a family story.

The source: Bereshit Rabbah 26:4.  Rabbi Hiyyah’s daughter got married.  She said to him, “Abba, say a prayer for me.”

He said, “May you never come back here.”

She had a son.

She said to him, “Abba, say a prayer for me.”

He said, “May you always give a worried sigh.”

She said, “I have had two happy occasions, and I asked you to say a prayer, and you said a curse!”

He said, “I said a blessing.  May you never come back here, because you have peace in your new home.  May you always give a worried sigh. because as long as your son lives, you will worry, “is he drinking? is he eating? Is he going to synagogue?”

The family story:  Our mother recalled that when she got married, her parents told her: “You are getting married, but we want you to know, if you ever have trouble, if you ever have difficulties . . . don’t come back here.”

The point of that surprising end to the sentence: You married a good man.  If you have troubles, work them out with your husband.

I asked my sisters if I remembered the family story right, and they confirmed it.  One sister added: They told her “don’t come running back,” and she didn’t.

Apparently, Mom’s parents either knew the story of Rabbi Hiyyah, or invented it again on their own.