My thoughts on suicide prevention

I’ve been reading up on suicide prevention here on the website. While it’s an interesting and noteworthy read, the fact is, we can never truly tell what goes on in someone else’s mind. Sometimes, even when you know all the steps to help someone – or you think you do – there’s no guarantee it’s going to work.

Helping someone suicidal isn’t like with alcoholism – identify the steps and that’s it. It’s not automatic. Each person is different and each person needs a different approach. The worst we can do is a cookie-cutter approach. That only shows a blatant disregard for another person, it insults them, and makes them feel like they don’t matter even more. It’s obviously not the intent of the person helping – but that’s how it can be interpreted by a suicidal individual, worsening the crisis, rather than alleviating it.

The world is a complex place and our minds – the smarter you are – the more stormy it gets. Many people have no idea what to do when they come across someone in a crisis. They are going to resort to phrases such as, ”Don’t be selfish,” and so on. Others are going to turn into drill sargeants or cheerleaders.

The fact is, such phrases can do more harm than good. They don’t show concern but the opposite. It makes the suicidal person look like a cartoon character and that’s not what the suicidal person wants or needs. They need understanding and not judgment or condemnation.

For example, if someone chooses euthanasia, instead of attacking them and calling them nasty names, it’s better to say, ”I disagree with your choice, but I respect it.” You’d be surprised how many suicidal people simply want to be acknowledged and not hear another lecture from a holier-than-thou individual. When shown understanding, they are less likely to continue having suicidal thoughts, because they are now in control of their destiny.

Calling suicidal people names, threatening them, only reinforces their view that the world is a messed up place. Suicidal people don’t want to die – they just want to be somewhere else, away from the world they see as a lunatic asylum where their voice doesn’t matter and people are blinded by greed and self-aggrandizement.

Dealing with such people requires care, tact, and smarts. Sadly, there aren’t that many people who know how to deal with someone in a crisis. Life experience plays a major role. The more experience you have in life, the more varied it is, the better. So, before taking someone suicidal to a therapist who can do more harm than good, make sure the suicidal person is heard and acknowledged. That, above all else, is what these people need, not another lecture, silent treatment, which is a cheap manipulation, or a threat.

And, even then, not all can be saved – that’s not anyone’s fault. As I’ve said at the beginning. We never truly know what goes in someone else’s mind and there’s only so much we can do to help.