Now is the Time for Israel to Recognize the “State of Freedonia”

In light of the vote in Britain to recognize (recognise?) the State of Palestine, the time is finally ripe for Israel to make its own bold move. In 1933, this tiny little country emerged from obscurity as a force to be reckoned with. At that time, Freedonia was suffering from severe domestic financial problems, and its government leaders requested a loan from a wealthy woman, a Mrs. Teasdale, to help keep things afloat. She agreed to loan the country the money on the condition that the country be run by Rufus T. Firefly, otherwise known as Groucho Marx. In his moving speech when he agrees to run the country, he states (sings):

The last man nearly ruined this place, he didn’t know what to do with it
If you think this country’s bad off now, just wait ’til I get through with it.

Therefore, if Britain, with all of its wisdom and brilliance can recognize a non-existent country with no borders, no language, no history, no currency, etc, then it is high time that Freedonia gets its due as well! Sadly, Freedonia has not had the benefit of having billions of dollars flooding in from all over the world since it has not been involved in terrorism (perhaps the Minister of Financial Hoodwinking could get right on that). Freedonia has not had the benefit of a seat at the UN table since there is no oil in Freedonia.

And it is for these and so many other reasons that we, the State of Israel, can follow the lead of England, that bastion of fairness and honesty, and recogniz(s)e the country of Freedonia! I can almost hear the chanting now: “Free, Free, Free Freedonia!

We, the citizens of the State of Israel, owe a debt of gratitude to the Brits for showing us the way and the path to justice in this world! We also must commit ourselves, to inventing a history, a currency, a language and a set of borders (like “Palestine” has so aptly done) in order to gain proper recognition around the world.

Free, Free, Free Freedonia!

About the Author
After living in Chicago for 50 years, the last 10 of which Zev Shandalov served as a shul Rav and teacher in local Orthodox schools, his family made Aliya to Maale Adumim in July 2009. Shandalov currently works as a teacher, mostly interacting with individual students.