On the power of well-delivered compliments

Complimenting someone is an art. A cliche phrase, perhaps, yet valid still. A carefully-crafted compliment goes a long way. One needs to be careful, however, in case a compliment turns into a caricature, a distortion, or even an unintended insult. One’s compliment can quickly turn into an insult rather than an uplifting, cheerful phrase if worded incorrectly and without understanding of who the compliment is for. Context matters.

Just as we tailor our resumes when applying for a job at a particular company, so, too, it might be a good idea to be aware of the blurry boundary between complimenting and insulting someone. The background of a complimented person is of crucial importance. One’s compliment is another’s insult and it takes skill to ensure one gets the intended message across.

A compliment can also work as a disarming technique of sorts. When we are attacked verbally, it isn’t always the best idea to confront the person attacking us. Sometimes, it’s better to avert one’s eyes and move away rather than escalate the situation which is going to lead to unnecessary shouting matches or even worse problems. Indeed, complimenting the aggressive person is often so surprising to them, it might disarm them psychologically, leaving them confused, and at times grateful. It also shows our moral high ground.

The timing of a compliment is vital, as well. If we’re in the middle of a busy meeting, then it’s not the best idea to compliment someone then, when their focus is on a different topic entirely. The best time to compliment someone is when we have their undivided attention, even if for ten seconds. Otherwise, our compliment can turn into a nuisance, a distraction, and an annoyance.

Is it good to shower someone with compliments or compliment sparingly? It’s best to ensure one compliments not too often, because then the power of the compliment becomes less and less, to the point when, again, the compliment turns into a caricature and our intentions can be seen as not exactly positive.

Even, ”Oh, I love your hair!” can go a long way when delivered at the right time. It ought to be delivered with a smile, otherwise the disconnect between our words and intentions is going to be glaringly obvious, diminishing, if not altogether nullifying, the intended uplifting power of the compliment.