Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

Pulling the Wool Over our Dinner – Cooking Meals in a Washing Machine?

When M3 Office and Deseen on March 22, JNi.Media in the Jewish Press of March 28 and Digital Trends on March 31 reported food preparation in the washing machine, it was easier to understand it as an April Fool’s joke than when the Gardian, the Jerusalem Post (front page), Food&Wine, Hello Giggles and Only Simchas News published this respectively on April 13, 19, 19, 20 and 21.

However, a good first-of-April prank must give itself away somewhere. Does this story do that? Yes, it does. Heating food at a 100˚ Celsius for half an hour cannot be done “in moderately hot water for a long period of time.” What would be next? Cooking at room temperature — just take a day or two?

When confronted with this, “(con?) artist” Iftach Gazit replies to readers’ reactions: “Yes, It can also [sic!] work in a dishwasher.” (For results, see below.)

It is still possible that this is not a joke but rather hogwash (pun intended) made possible by some art students and journalists never having prepared a meal in their lives and having flunked chemistry, but my bet is on it being a clever hoax by the “inventor,” who doesn’t want this idea developed – only desires to make us think (a major goal in art). A more timely reporting would have made it easier for their readers to thrash out the enigma of this ‘revolutionary’ cuisine method.

Unfortunately, there seems more than one type of deceit involved, when we find this “recent novelty” already at YouTube from many years ago, as Wonderful Engineering just found out too.

  • Washing Machine Cookery going as far back as eight years (!) ago, trying to make scrambled eggs and improved wine in just (!) 90 minutes! Results: disgusting.
  • But then there is from over five (!) years ago: sponsored by Electrolux, Dishwasher Slow Cooking – Roast Veal in a Mackerel Sauce [not kosher]. This is sold as a great way to slow cook in dish washers at no cost to the environment (yes, the demonstrator claims a zero carbon footprint for this!) – never mind that using a dishwasher to cook meat for three (!) hours (or use ever) is a pure assault on your carbon footprint and water and electricity consumption. For a fish dish, you don’t only dish-wash-cook the dead animals in Electrolux vacuum-sucked bags but also Electrolux grill them afterwards to make them crisp and make the souse by Electrolux hand mixer or blender – is there any machine that Electrolux doesn’t sell? Zero carbon footprint? Do they think that we have zero brains?

All in all, we are getting a bit off-track. Let’s not forget that the original idea was about washing-machine cooking.

Conclusions:

  • If you want to waste time, water and electricity big time, you can slow cook in a dish washer – yet, throw out that monster!
  • But no one ever cooked or will cook meals per electronic washing machine until they are fit out with special food-only cycles (because cooking your meal while cleaning your laundry would either destroy the latter of not cook the former). Don’t hold your breath though, because who could succeed selling machines that would waste so much time, electricity and water for making a simple meal?
  • Food preparation in the washing machine is an old, potentially wasteful but completely unworkable idea.
  • I would call this a prank or ruse and fake news, but not fraud.
  • Never believe anything in the news until you’ve researched it. Especially when it makes no sense at first glance or second thought.
About the Author
To subscribe to his daily blog posts, click on the circle next to the blogger's picture, containing a dot with two quarter circles around it (the Feed Computer icon). * The author is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (DES - Diethylstilbestrol), born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a vegan for 8 years now. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach and lehavdiel bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science, Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, GLBTQAI, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quit a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500st blog post with the ToI. * He likes doing age-appropriate and age-inappropriate things and looks forward to getting to know his timeless mature out-of-the-box soul mate. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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