The below was edited to fit the 45th President’s mental framework.
Dear Donald,
Don’t panic. Though you may have no time to waste. Cut your losses.
I don’t mean that you should flee like a coward. But you should remove yourself quickly to escape being incarcerated by the truly deplorable, the elites of Washington. This is your chance, to live in temporary exile, as the true king of the USA who escaped the swamp, awaiting his return.
You have no choice. They’re all betraying you and conspiring:
Don’t panic. Your situation is not dire. And even if it were, how would panicking help? Stay calm, cool, and collected.
Don’t tell anybody of your plans except the following people.
Call Adelson on Baron’s cell where to pick you up and ask humbly if you may temporarily live in the beach house he just bought close to Tel Aviv. It’s the property that used to house the American ambassador, which he just bought in the most expensive real estate deal in Israel. Fit for a king.
Tell Melania that she is free to accompany you, come later, or not follow you at all. That’s so nice, she probably will join you without hesitation.
Pack your bags, travel lightly. Wake up Barron and tell him you’re going on a vacation. If Melania joins now, tell him to pack up his dearest things.
Write a pardon for all your true friends and yourself.
Order your helicopter to bring you to whatever airfield Adelson told you.
When outside of US territorial space, call Pence that you’ve left and no longer can fulfill your presidential duties. Ask him also, as president, to pardon you, in case your pardoning yourself would not be enough.
Call a TV news show that you will grant them a live interview. Talk to your fan base. Say that you’re not fleeing but rather made a tactical retreat to wait until the real putsch is over and you can return to serve them again. Invite them to visit you whenever they’re around. True friends stay friends.
It will take a few weeks before the first people will tour your new living quarters, also because Israel is currently under a COVID lockdown. But surely, American friends who paid a thousand dollars to cross the ocean will be happy to donate some to your End the Exile fund too.
Religious Jews in Israel are not as viciously left-wing as in the US. They appreciate what you did for Israel. They’ll believe that G^d allowed you to escape since you let Pollard go, which opened the door for you to follow.
Call Bibi and ask him permission to stay for the time being and to give some security to the extent he deems needed. Tell him also that now you have more time on your hands, you’d be happy to help with the real peace process that you started.
Smile. Sweet victory. They never understood you when you predicted not to be at Biden’s inauguration.
Pff, it was a heavy job but you made the best of it. You can relax now, and be pleased with your work and yourself.
Wait a couple of days before restarting international deal-making or kick start Trump media. A well-deserved rest after very hectic years. Who’d know that this was such a complicated job?
You escaped and fooled the coup takers (again). Enjoy yourself.
About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, an almost daily blog contributor to the Times of Israel, and previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is (partly) generated by AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. He doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit about what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and education contribute to his visions. *
If you don't know the Dutch, get an American peek behind the scenes here: https://youtu.be/QMPp6h6r72M *
To find less-recent posts on subject XXX among his 2000 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. Yet, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people who don't deserve that. He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust, and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
His most influential teachers (chronologically) are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. *
One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. He loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, anti-elitism, anti-bigotry and supremacy, for Zionism, Intersectionality, and non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, empowering therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids non-violently. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's being a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. He lives with his library in Jerusalem. Feel free to contact him. *
His writing has been made possible by a (second-generation) Holocaust survivors' allowance from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1