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David Kilimnick

Sermons of Rebuke: Nasso

Nasso

Shabbat Shalom

(4:49) Moshe counted them ‘according to the word of H’…that H’ commanded Moshe.’
Moshe counts the Levites, as H’s request. He didn’t question the request and go off on vacation, like the synagogue’s secretary and not print out this week’s bulletin. Now I will read through the whole bulletin…missed the Sternman Bris. Belated Mazel Tov. She left that out of last month’s bulletin…

Rashi- Those that were counted from 30 to 50 years old, as he was commanded.
Iker Siftei Chachamim- He counted them, like they were commanded.
We see ‘He was commanded.’ He didn’t just start with his Moshe ‘I am creative’ tirade, like the youth of this congregation, in Hebrew School…
Commanded to count from 30 to 50 year-olds. The useful bunch. Unlike the teenagers in this congregation who constantly count the minutes till the rabbi’s sermon is over…in the hallways. How can we count your children if they are not here?

What makes counting right? Moshe was commanded.
They didn’t make there own decisions and call it a commandment. Like the ref in the basketball game who called a foul and counted it as two points and not three. Last week…We have our tasks. The secretary is commanded to her job…a request to show up so that you can get paid…the board is not supposed to (perfect opportunity to go off on the board for sinning in their actions which are not according to H’)…we would be giving out Aliyah’s all day, calling you all to the Torah 5 times, so that you would shut up Mr. Fishbern. But we cannot…We are not commanded, and that makes it wrong…
We are now going to the volunteers from 10 to 80 years of age. Whoever can help the Holiness of this congregation. We need helpers at Bingo night…We are all useful for Bingo.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom

About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: david@israelcomedy.com 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.
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