SERMONS OF REBUKE: Pinchas Excerpts

Shabbat Shalom

The daughters of Tzelafchad say they should have an inheritance. And the problem of women’s rights begins…

Moshe brings their question to H.’
I am sick of having to ask H’ if the shule should allow women to sit at the Kiddysh table. There is no room in this synagogue…The question of even having women eating herring in shule is enough. It is unladylike.

(27:4) The daughters of Tzelafchad ask, ‘Why should our dad’s name be made less, because he had no sons?’
Because he had no sons. That is the reason…
Gershon, in the back, has only given birth to daughters…Now a whole fight is going to break out, once Gershon passes…Who gets the mill? Who gets the house? Who is going to pay the backed up dues to the shule?

What did they use for their arguement? (27:3) Our father didn’t die because of Korach,
He died because of his own sins.
Rashi- He didn’t cause other people to sin. That is what they used for their argument.

So what if Tzelafchad sinned. They argue what he didn’t do…Causing others to sin would appear to be a bigger sin…I feel like this congregation constantly causes me to sin.
If you cause pain to others, then you have no argument. You are not deserving…Tzvia, of the shule’s women’s movement wants to take away our chairs and give them to Gershon’s daughters…Do not let your gain impede the life of the community…How about purchasing more chairs for the shule…A shule that can hold all of its congregants at Kiddush…Good question. Although it is in the middle of my sermon. We do not need more chairs in the sanctuary. The sanctuary is not as important as the Kiddush room. The congregants show up to Kiddush.

Heter Kiruv (permitted acts for bringing people closer to Judaism) only goes so far. But the non-modest dress, should be more accepted in this congregation.
Causing others to lose focus at kiddush…
Breaking into homes, when you are not paying your dues…Causing Michalel Shabbat (breaking the Shabbat).
Gershon- you daughters must have mace…Who is going to inherit your one bedroom flat…That is why you have sons and a first born…If your daughters were to be able to say that they caused no harm to others and did not deal crack for the SATs…
He didn’t smoke in public…There is a no smoking sign in this shule, because most of you don’t know it is forbidden on to smoke on Shabbat…
Fire bombing and causing innocent beautiful beings to kill, that is a sin for which you do not deserve land.

Yes. There is a right, when it is not abused…When you do not abuse your connection with your community.
So, next time you want to sin: Eat herring or take a seat from the kids table at kiddush, Smoke in shule or start an all out war at the board meeting, or run around your home in a skirt, Gershon- Do it in your own home.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom