Shabbat Shalom

They felt left out, and so they asked Moshe why they have to miss out on Pesach. The felt like they missed an opportunity to connect with H,’ because they couldn’t practice Pesach correctly. Unlike this congregation which asks why we can’t eat bread…The shmurah came out too hard this year? Some like it crunchy. .It is Matzah.

And in response, H’ tells Moshe that these people should celebrate it in the second month.

(9:13) However, ‘the man that is pure’ and he just held off from bringing the offering at the appointed time (on Pesach), he will bear his sin.’

We are not talking about the many of you who end up eating at Mickey Dee’s, because Moishee’s bagels is closed. When do we have second chances? Here, we see, you have a second chance when you don’t screw up. Like you guys who screwed up the carving on the Aron Hakodesh (the ark)… There is no second chance to add a tail to a lion.

What opportunities have you missed? Well let me tell you…Mrs. Bronstone missed the opportunity to show up to the Shiva House this week…she should have apologized for showing up to the funeral in drag…Mr. Goldfarb missed the opportunity to bring a bottle of whiskey for the birth of his son…
You have a second chance sometimes. These are the times to celebrate a little later. I am not telling Mrs. Bronstone to bring Mardi Gras back to the shule…It was a great program the first time. However, we all know how Bernie got offended by the lack of dress in the shule…It was a great fundraiser though. And we all know that…

How many chances have you, the people of this congregation, had to move from this community. I would have…You bear your sin.

(9:14) The convert shall live by the same rules. He shall bring the Pesach offering.
(9:2) ‘In its appointed time.’
Even the convert has to follow the same rules. And to not say, ‘I made a decision to convert. I will make the decision when I want to bring the offering too.’ Like Mr. Goldfarb’s bottle of whiskey, we still haven’t seen…Is your son born yet? I think, but I do not know…

There are times. There are rules. Rules are rules. The game is the game. You all mess up. You could care less.
But when somebody really cares, there is always a way to make it up. There is a way for Teshuva.
But you don’t want to pay your dues. Harry doesn’t want to get rid of that rug on his head and make it better for everybody else in this congregation…The Jews wanted to make up for missing out on a chance to do good. That is when you know it is a good community…

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom Morton

About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.
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