Benji Lovitt
Because the Middle East is Funny

Shas leader: Moses is also Amalek

In a follow-up to his controversial video posted yesterday where he attacked the national religious, Shas Rabbi Shalom Cohen announced this morning that he believed Moshe Rabeinu was also Amalek.

“This shmendrick Moses kept us wandering in the desert for forty years.  By the time we reached Eretz Yisroel, he couldn’t be bothered to enter.  Where I come from, that’s Amalek.  A to the M to the A-L-E-K.  AMALEEEEEEK!!!!”

Amalek was a Biblical tribe that attacked the Israelites from behind while they wandered in the desert. In the Biblical narrative, its members were designated a special evil deserving of extermination.

“Was this Moses even a Jew?  WTF.  Total Amalek.  Straight-up A-mizzle.”

Cohen declared in a sermon Monday morning that “as long as there are any Moseses in this world, the [divine] throne is not whole.  The Book of Moses.  Moses Malone.  Moises Alou.  They’re Amalek. When will the throne be whole?  Not till I say so.  You feel me?”

At the end of his speech, the rabbi added that Benjamin Netanyahu was also Amalek, along with the “Lone Ranger” remake, Van Halen post-David Lee Roth, the Facebook redesigns, missing socks, the Miami Heat, jock itch, and the Red Wedding.

Benji Lovitt is a comedian and writer. Contact him at www.benjilovitt.com to book a show or educational workshop about life in Israel. 

About the Author
Since making aliyah in 2006, Benji Lovitt has performed stand-up comedy and educational programs for groups including Jewish Federations, Chabads, synagogues, Masa Israel Journey, and Birthright Israel. His perspectives on aliyah and Israeli society have been featured on Israeli TV and radio and in publications such as USA Today, Time Magazine, the BBC, and more. Benji has worked as a cross-cultural trainer with groups including the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Masa Israel and is a popular presenter on the Limmud International circuit. During 2014's Operation Protective Edge, his humorous observations on the war led to his being called in Israel "the only reason to go on Facebook.”
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