I continue here with thoughts on the Will Smith violence, before returning to the subject of the sexual abuser Shlomo Carlebach, in my next blog post.
First, don’t try this at home
At the Oscars, Will Smith walked on stage during comedian Chris Rock’s presentation and slapped him in the face. No one should assume they can get away with such behavior (women included). Notice the consequences the person below faced for slapping someone:
“Recently I was arrested for slapping my ex-roommate in a moment of weakness. I have never been in trouble before. The courts are trying to charge me with assault and intent to cause bodily harm. My attorney says that is a felony and maximum sentencing is one year in the county jail and a fine…” Can I be charged with a felony for slapping someone? – Legal Answers – Avvo
Double standard in the justice system
Will is a role model to many people, especially amongst Blacks. Other men, especially Black youth and men, can easily wind up jailed for hitting someone. They’ll be stuck in jail without even 1% of Will Smith’s financial resources or ability to get the good lawyer they need.
There’s a clear unfair double standard of tolerance for the criminal behavior of the rich and famous. I hope Chris Rock presses charges (not likely, I know). It was caught on video for all to see, so the facts of the matter can’t be argued. Will Smith is due consequences. In comparison to what happens to others who commit similar acts, some jail time, a fine according to Will’s financial abilities, and mandatory anger management is fair. (Below, I discuss why I don’t agree with what I wrote in this paragraph.)
I would be happy to hear that the Oscar Will Smith was awarded later that evening was taken away from him, because of the example it would set of societal intolerance for violence.
No chivalry here!
Many of those who supported Will in the aftermath of his violence claimed that when Will slapped Chris, he did so as a loving act for his wife, since it was in response to Chris’ joke about her.
Will Smith did not hit Chris Rock out of pure love for his wife. If anything, that was only a tiny percentage of what drove him. Almost always when people get angry or initiate violence, it has little to do with the situation at hand which “caused” the anger or violence. Instead, the anger or violence is primarily fueled by past hurts, trauma, anger, or other unprocessed emotions. We all have these and when triggered, they can take control and cause ugly and destructive behavior.
How old is Will Smith?
When I saw Will Smith’s face in the video, I got the sense he had reverted to somewhere between ages 4-6 when he walked on stage and slapped Chris. I wondered what happened to him at the age he reverted to. I remembered that he spoke about being a child watching his father beat his mother. I speculated that maybe he was acting out what he wished he would have been able to do, to defend his mother.
I highly suspect that Will and his wife have energy cords between them that at least partially contributed to his defending her through violence. I also think it is likely these cords are fueling other aspects of their marital relationship, which have made it into the news (yes, I read the gossip).
Energy cords are usually created subconsciously and link two or more people together. They can be of detriment, even when the person who created the cord did so with good intentions. Energy cords can affect all aspects of a person’s life, even contributing to financial and health issues, as well as physical pains. Most relevant to our discussion is the impact these cords can have on a person emotionally.
In relationships, they can cause marital issues such as irritation with your spouse or other members of your family, co-dependency, conflicts with peers, and more. This is because they influence a person on some level to energetically or emotionally mimic, or behave in response to, the energy of the person they became corded to. So certain behaviors, sensitivities, opinions, or ways of “being” or handling situations that you have may not be completely yours!
I wouldn’t know for sure what factors drove Will to violence without assessing and treating him, and I never assess or treat a person without their permission. However, based on my experience, if I were treating Will, in addition to releasing trapped emotions from past pain and trauma, I would definitely look for these energy cords between him and Jada. In addition to treating him individually, I would also treat them as one energetic unit. I often find this necessary to do for couples, families, or for selected individuals within a family unit.
Will Smith is accountable for his behavior. However, understanding that it was triggered and driven by past trauma, pain and likely energy cords, we can have compassion for him. To his credit, he is a relatively aware person who works on himself to improve. I bet he is discussing in therapy what led him to that violent behavior.
About anger management
True inner peace and staying present require letting go of the constant vigilance and willpower to keep anger and other emotions under control. It has already been proven that willpower doesn’t last, so at some point anger management is going to fail a person, and he or she will act with anger. For this reason, the anger management I suggested above as part of fair judicial consequences for Will is not adequate, nor is it a real long-term solution. I only mentioned it in the context of even-handed justice rather than favoritism for the rich and famous, or whoever can afford a good lawyer.
Therapy is not enough
I do believe in and often recommend therapy by licensed mental health professionals when needed. However even the best therapy, alone, is not enough to eradicate violent behavior, anger, or other destructive emotions. From my personal experience and what I have seen with my clients, only through root cause healing focused on releasing trapped emotions from the past, calming the gut and nervous system, and correcting other imbalances, can Will and others suffering from trauma, anger, or other trapped emotions, find inner peace and live firmly footed in the present.
Not punitive jail; health and healing
It’s sad to think of all the people serving jail sentences because of a moment of loss of impulse control. It is much more effective to have mandatory sentencing that includes a combination of therapy, root cause and trauma-focused healing, healthy food, adequate living conditions including orthopedically supportive and comfortable beds, and healthcare supervised by Functional Medicine MDs. This comprehensively rehabilitative, rather than punitive approach is what is needed to heal individuals of their anger, trauma and potentially or actual destructive behavior. Yes, it may initially cost more to treat inmates like this (will it?), but longer term it will save alot of money. People in jail treated like this, will have a higher rate of success upon release. Many employers will want to hire them, and they will contribute to society more as cooperative and taxpaying citizens.
Look for the real root causes of crime, and heal them. [This works for most other problems also!] In the process, we’ll be achieving a healed and redeemed world, more full of compassion and kindness.
A kosher and happy Pesach to all my Jewish brothers and sisters.