The Blogs: Tazria Metzorah - Common Sense and Shared Values | David Lemmer

At a certain point in life, we find that all the knowledge we once thought was brilliant is actually simple common sense. Even if I were to give a lecture of very deep insights, all I’m trying to do is explain the mechanics of a topic so that people can understand it simply. Common sense is simple, but there are areas in it that people haven’t had that knowledge imprinted in them.

My friend came over to me to tell me something brilliant he thought about. His face shines as he transmits this light he found. He says, “If one hundred people live in an area, all you need to do is open a grocery store to become rich.” In my mind, I argued that he has to be dedicated to service as well, but I understood that’s what he meant. So I told him, “Well, isn’t that the idea of any business? I provide a service where people need it!” He told me, “It’s a simple idea, but when we use words to explain it, it actually becomes simple!”

Common sense is simple, but as long as we don’t explain it with words, it can take time to live by its example. For example, if one were not to have the knowledge for eating, they would simply die. They need to be able to tell themselves the words, “I need food,” or in Hebrew, “Mazon.” By knowing the need for food, we learn how to communicate it. Food is simple; we just need the words to explain it.

There is a level of shared agreement among humans where we all nod to good and shake to bad. Everything positive carries this shared value and complements everything in its realm of positivity. There is no circumstance where being good in one area in life impacts another good area. We are either going up or down, and it’s our next decision that is most important.

The world’s value system for good and bad is pretty balanced nowadays, unlike times past where men truly lived tribally. They pillaged and ravaged whomever they didn’t like since these villagers weren’t valued in their eyes. Today, we are civilized only due to the expansion of Judeo values. Much like eating food and breathing air are common sense, so too are the values and morals we live by. Just as we struggle with the foods we allow into our bodies, as we saw in last week’s Parsha, Shemini, so too do we struggle with allowing poison into our minds.

Killing, stealing, and the like are frowned upon by an overwhelmingly large majority in the world. What about endangering others? Well, that too is understood by most: we shouldn’t harm anybody, just as we wouldn’t want to be harmed ourselves (Kamocha). But it seems that we have a harder time understanding that. We know what it means to be harmed to an extent, and still, we go ahead and do what we hate to them. It is when life hits us hard enough, where it hurts, that we end our destructive behaviors and join the ranks of the commonsensical world.

Now, we all have bad things happen to us throughout our lives. We know what it means when things don’t go as we wish, and we know how it feels to be laughed at. We are children for this reason, so that we get to experience different feelings from our baby friends who don’t know. The little three-year-old tells me that I smell; it hurts just as much as someone telling you today that your business is terrible. As a child, we felt and understood those messages for the first time and chose to do something about it. Some of us cried and made some more, while some became aggressive and shielded their shame. Then there were some who chose to make sure that they keep themselves clean from now on. We’ve experienced those uncomfortable moments before; they taught us valuable lessons and made us better-smelling people.

All of these uncomfortable feelings are common sense among the entire world. Nobody likes being yelled at, just as nobody wants their toe to hit a corner. We all agree that there is a time for teaching and a time to learn a lesson: first, we do something stupid, then we learn our lesson. We think about it and add words to explain it; we try harder, become smarter, and know what to do and what not to do next time. We upgrade ourselves to common sense through trial and error.

Now that everyone understands the feeling of shame, we can teach others what we learned from our experience. The shared consensus among people is that we must keep ourselves away from shame—so far that we should refrain from bringing it upon others. We don’t ever want to feel it again, so why give another this same feeling? Besides, the action of getting someone ashamed leads us to feel ashamed of ourselves. We all try hard to be respectful because of it—another common sense rule in the world of unspoken words.

So, the more experiences we have in our lives, the more lessons we gather along the way, and we mold ourselves through the world’s acknowledgment of our deeds. If people around us support our behavior—i.e., our reactions to the uncomfortable moments in life—we will end up reacting this way for the rest of our lives. We fit in with our surroundings to find stability, working every day to find that comfortable spot where nothing can go wrong. Because having a place in society is not just the reason for life; it is the purpose of life.

Being respectful to others makes you an example of respect, and therefore, you are respected, Mishnah Avot 4:1. You will have a place among people since you treat them fairly. You keep away from fights and arguments and respect the humanity of others. By giving them the benefit of the doubt all the time and by allowing things to go over your head, you gain respect from them. You are shouldered by them as they admire and yearn for your leadership.

On the other hand, one who doesn’t join the ranks of civilized people and removes themselves from society by admonishing and shaming others is removed from the city. Much like a murderer is taken off the street for breaking ranks with the rest of the “normies,” so too, one who chooses not to learn the lessons from their experiences and instead uses this pain and applies it to others must be removed from the common folk.

They are given a Nega on their body, and if they want the behavior monitor to be removed, they must commit to common sense. They are given a time out so that they can think about what they did. They have time to review their dire situation and ask themselves how they can become better. They ultimately reach the understanding that they should treat others with respect because the only way to get better and pure is by learning why they don’t want this shame anymore.

David Lemmer is an Orthodox Jewish Writer and Hypnotherapist. He can be reached at LemmerHypno@gmail.com.