Raymond M. Berger
Real Bullet Points

The Day after Israel Discovers the Cure for Cancer

What would happen if Israel discovered the cure for cancer?

This month Israeli researchers at Ben Gurion University announced a medical breakthrough: a safe and effective treatment for cancer.1

The new vaccine, dubbed the Maccabee, harnesses the body’s own immune cells to seek out and destroy a wide range of types of malignant cells, while leaving healthy cells unharmed. Effective against almost all types of cancer, the new treatment has been welcomed by cancer patients around the world as the long awaited “cure for cancer.”

What follows is a summary of reactions to the news from around the globe.

Once again, the Zionist Entity has stolen the birthright of the Egyptian people by falsely claiming to have originated this treatment. It is common knowledge that if the Egyptian scientific community had not developed algebra, this discovery would not have been possible.
Ibrahim Ben TuMor, Department of Islamic Oncology, Al Azar University, Cairo

Multiple sources have confirmed to Al Jazeera News that the Jews invented this treatment when the Zionist state was founded in 1948. As cancer rates skyrocketed around the world, Israeli scientists kept the treatment a closely guarded secret. Until now it has been available only to Jewish cancer patients. Now that the incidence of cancer has increased to unprecedented levels, apparently the Jewish vaccine makers decided that this was the moment to release the vaccine in order to maximize their profits.
Mohammed bin Talal Abu al-Thani, Executive Producer, Al Jazeera News, Doha, Qatar

This disturbing news from the so-called Jewish state confirms that the Israelis have indeed carried out a campaign of genocide against the Palestinian people, by fomenting cancer among our people and then denying them treatment.  Of course, the research that led to the vaccine was conducted solely by Palestinian researchers at Birzeit University. In a brazen theft, Israeli researchers announced the discovery as their own. In order to expose the lies of the right-wing Israeli government, I will arrange for my sister-in-law to receive the treatment, to show that it is only effective in the hands of Palestinian doctors.
Mahmoud Abbas, President of the Palestinian Authority, Ramallah, Palestine

Our own scientists at the world-renowned cancer treatment center here in Ramallah were on the verge of announcing our discovery of this cancer treatment. Imagine our shock when the Israelis beat us to the punch in making this announcement. In fact, the vaccine is a theft of Palestinian property. We demand the right to returns on investment in the vaccine.
Dr. Abdullah Abdullah Abu Abdullah, Palestinian Medical Science Center, Ramallah

The Zionist entity has once again attempted to fool the world. The recent Mossad announcement that it had spirited our nuclear documents out of Iran is a lie. In fact, the documents they stole from the Iranian people were the medical formulas for the fabrication of the Blessed Martyrs Serum for the Cure for Cancer. The Zionist Entity is itself a cancer for which the Iranian people’s Islamic Revolution has the cure.
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Supreme Leader, Teheran, Iran

In this war of competing claims by Israeli and Palestinian scientists, I call upon both parties to the conflict to exercise restraint. This is not the time for exaggerated or false claims for a cancer cure. That will have to wait until an impartial United Nations Investigative Panel can examine the evidence and conclude that Israeli scientists stole the work of Palestinian researchers.
Antonio Guterres, Secretary General of the United Nations, New York

Russia unequivocally condemns the Israeli theft of Palestinian scientific formulas. We support the efforts of the United Nations Investigative Panel in this matter by naming impartial investigators to the panel from among our allies in the Organization of Islamic Cooperation.
Sergey Lavrov, Minister of Foreign Affairs, Moscow, Russia

In response to this news, the Palestinian Coordinating Committee in Support of Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions, has formed an Emergency Task Force to counter Zionist claims that serve only to “cancer-cure wash” the illegitimate colonialist state of Israel. We must not allow the contributions of Israeli scientists to obscure the colonialist and apartheid nature of Israel and its oppression of the Palestinian people. The Coordinating Committee, on behalf of the world’s population, has determined that forgoing a cure for cancer is a small price to pay in order to secure social justice for the Palestinians.
Ahmed Berkowitz, Chief Talking Head, Palestinian Coordinating Committee in Support of BDS, Berkeley, California

This cancer cure must not be allowed to enhance the reputation of Israel at the expense of the Palestinians. We urge our supporters on campuses all over the United States to shut down all scientific research and dissemination that violates our version of social justice. We demand that scientific researchers issue a ban on all new scientific publications by Israeli researchers. In addition, our activists have fanned out across the country to ensure that all Israeli speakers at scientific conferences will be shut down.  We will not rest until this cancer cure is no longer available to anyone.
Leila Mustafa-Radical, West Coast Coordinator for Students for Justice in Palestine, San Francisco

As members of the Religious Society of Friends, we are committed to the greatest good for all people across the globe. But there comes a time in the life of every faith-based organization that it must sacrifice this principle in favor of making a show of our profound virtue. Therefore, we must speak out against this vaccine. We all pray for a day in the near future when a cancer cure is discovered by a group of people we approve of.
Ben Funkland, Non-hierarchical Sort of Chair, Quakers for Social Justice, Portland, Oregon

An Afterthought

Someday the Israelis may indeed discover a cure for cancer. On that fortuitous day, it will be interesting to observe the reactions of those pestering voices that have been demonizing the little Jewish state for so long.

Will the naysayers finally acknowledge the contributions of the Jewish state to the betterment of humanity? Or will they continue to blame Israel for the world’s ills while, at the same time, they take advantage of the benefits of Israeli knowhow?





  1. This is an imaginary scenario. But an Israeli cure for cancer may not be far away. See: NoCamels Team, Seven Recent Israeli Breakthroughs in Cancer Research and Detection. No Camels. April 12, 2018. Retrieved on April 14, 2018 from:

About the Author
The author is a life-long Zionist and advocate for Israel. He believes that a strong Jewish state is invaluable, not only to Jews, but to the world-wide cause of democracy and human rights. Dr. Berger earned a PhD in Social Welfare from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and has twenty-seven years of teaching experience. He has authored and co-authored three books as well as over 45 professional journal articles and book chapters. His parents were Holocaust survivors.
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