The difference between Modern Orthodox and Dati Leumi; it boils down to a tuba

This past Sunday I had the joy of attending concert performances by several children’s wind orchestras. I was there because my 11 year-old granddaughter was among the players in the Tel Aviv ensemble. The event took place at the Israel Conservatory of Music in Tel Aviv.

To find oneself among so many enthusiastic, gifted kids preparing for and performing on flutes, clarinets, oboes, saxophones, trumpets, trombones and tubas is exhilarating. The pre-concert cacophony itself was music to my ears and a feast for my eyes.

Yet, what gave me particular joy, and an equal measure of profound sadness, was the orchestra from Jerusalem. For the record, they were head and shoulders superior to the other groups – a much larger ensemble and a very tight one at that.

But what really got to me was the evident fact that a significant percentage – if not an outright majority – of these children were religious, the kind one recognizes as Dati Leumi.

We tend to assume, reflexively, that the Dati Leumi in Israel are somehow similar to the Modern Orthodox in America. Yet nothing could be further from the truth.

The profound differences begin in childhood, and yesterday’s concert was hugely indicative.

In America, Modern Orthodox children of this age would never have the degree of freedom that their Israeli peers enjoy. I remember when my son was already in Yeshiva University’s high school, the boys from Riverdale where we then lived – barely two miles away – were being ferried to school, like 5 year-olds, in a little yellow school bus. Their hovering and helicoptering parents would never allow them to use public transportation. In Israel, children as young as 6 or 7 can be seen taking public buses by themselves.

While his classmates were being baby-bused to Washington Heights, I insisted that my own son take the subway, something the other parents found horrifying. And while the other boys were having their mommy-coordinated playdates, I sent my son to a gritty Yonkers boxing gym to learn the sweet science and enjoy the camaraderie of the very people that terrified other parents into paying a small fortune for the little yellow school bus. Perhaps this is why my son grew up to be a Rav Seren (major) in the IDF reserves, and I could not be prouder.

But back to the topic of music in Modern Orthodoxy: It doesn’t exist, not unless one considers the effeminate a capella of the Maccabeats serious music.

Virtually from the womb, Modern Orthodox children who show any tendencies toward the performing arts have their potential rooted out like bad weeds. Yes, the Modern Orthodox pretend to be cultured; after all Yeshiva university has its very own night at the Metropolitan Opera fundraiser.  But, of course, not one member of the Metropolitan Opera’s performers or orchestra ever set foot in Yeshiva University. Ditto for schools like Flatbush, Ramaz, Frisch etc.

So how is it that in Israel things are so different? Why does the accident of growing up in Israel make it possible for a kid with a kippah to not only become a major (or major general for that matter) in a fighting army, but also to become a serious musician, a member of the Philharmonic, a concert pianist or composer – none of which is conceivable in America?

Diaspora Jews differ from Israelis in many ways, one is in a reflexive/defensive cowardice that exemplifies nearly all diaspora Jews, and the career choices they don’t make – and not just the Orthodox.

Young Israelis have a very opposite ethos.  The need to defend their country breeds this into their DNA. They learn how to take risks, are more likely to think out of the box, and can put career objectives on hold while taking a long post-army trek in the sorts of places an MO from America would never go without the equivalent of a little yellow school bus.

But my topic today is music – indeed performing arts in general.  A serious children’s orchestra made up largely of religious kids could never happen in America. NEVER. Yet in Israel, music, theater, dance, film-making are normative options for all children, including those from religious homes.

Among the ultra-orthodox/haredim, the extirpation of performing (and visual) arts has long been the norm. Other than the over-amplified barbarity of frum wedding music, there really is no serious music being taught, and none happening. But at least they have the unfortunate excuse of “bittul Torah”, i.e. such pursuit is considered a waste of time. I recall my own late father telling me, when I was a child clamoring for violin lessons, that “Gypsies play violin, Jews learn Torah.” As well, any kind of orchestra activity would, perforce, bring boys and girls into each other’s company, and that is out of the question for the haredi communities a priori.

Among the Modern Orthodox there is no such obsession with ‘bittul Torah’, and socializing among boys and girls is not proscribed.  But the absence of serious music is deafening.

And the reason boils down to a single word. MONEY.

The cost of being a Modern Orthodox Jew in American is so prohibitive that children are, like bonsai trees, mutilated from childhood toward only the most limited career options – law, finance, technology, dentistry and, less frequently nowadays, medicine proper.

It’s no secret that a Modern Orthodox family with two parents and three children must generate a combined household income within the top 2% in order to break even. Consider the cost of day school tuition which can easily reach $30,000 per child. Add to this the price of synagogue memberships and summer camps, and one needs $120,000 in after-tax income for these alone. Factor in the cost of housing, food, medical coverage, clothing and suddenly a gross income of $300,000 per year puts one in the poor house. And when a son or daughter graduates from high school there is that pricey, if questionable, gap year in Israel. After that, what Modern  Orthodox parent would want to deprive their precious child of the joy and edification of a Columbia University college education, at a mere $65,000/year for the privilege?

Hence, it is no wonder that Modern Orthodox parents shunt their children as far away as possible from serious involvement with clarinets and saxophones, violins and cellos. After all, how would such a child survive as an adult in a society whose price of admission makes being a millionaire almost de rigueur?

One can easily criticize the rampant materialism of American Modern Orthodox Jews.  Their Lexuses and Mercedes, their over-indulgent Passover vacations at exotic resorts, their obsession with designer clothing, their dining at glatt-kosher restaurants that can feature a $150 hamburger painted in pure gold.

But it’s not entirely their fault. Once it’s understood that making a lot of money is sine qua non for a Modern Orthodox lifestyle, there’s no applying the brakes.  Once you’re on the gelt-track the word “enough” never enters your head. There are no stop signs. And nothing will ever get in the way of your notion of success, certainly not a musical instrument.