The grandparent factor

Parents and grandparents have profound influence on their children and grandchildren.

Even if the entire world around them thinks one way, children are profoundly impacted by their parents and grandparents. And as the child grows up, the memories of their elders stay with them, forming perspectives that guide them throughout life.

Recently a book was published called “My Grandmother’s Candlesticks, Judaism and Feminism, A Multigenerational Memoir” by Diane Schulder Abrams. The writer, now a grandmother herself, relates how she grew up during the late 60’s when youth rebelled. Hippies, anti-war demonstrations, and anti-establishment thinking prevailed, and she was very involved in the feminist movement.

Then one day, she went with a friend to visit a commune. She was surprised by the numerous rituals that were used. And it awakened within her the realization that she had her own set of rituals, handed down by her family.

And she went home and unpacked the set of candlesticks which had belonged to her grandmother. Somehow the grandmother sensed that this grandchild would need it, so she bequeathed it to her.

She took the candlesticks, checked to see when sunset would occur that Friday, and made sure to light the candles before sunset, before Shabbat. And she felt peace and tranquility.

Grandparents have much to offer, as they shower love on their grandchildren.

Moshe Yess composed a very popular song with the words, “Who will be the Zaidy (grandfather) of our children, who will be their Zaidy if not we?”

“And Zaidy made us laugh, Zaidy made us sing, and Zaidy made a Kiddush Friday night; and Zaidy oh my Zaidy how I loved him so, and Zaidy used to teach us wrong from right.”