The reason for my tears

Why are we crying?

I am crying for the loss of innocence. For my children and all of our children who now know where the nearest shelter is. The powerful yet horrifying song that the nursery children sing so they don’t panic during an air raid siren. The drills in schools and summer camps about what to do during a siren and the fact that the drills have now been validated and the fact that they are needed.

I am crying for the lost summer as we try and go about our normal lives yet all too aware that this is not a normal summer. Cancelled day trips and amended camp schedules. Empty hotels and loss of incomes, loss of beach days and loss of routine.

I am crying for Jews in the Diaspora. For all our families and friends who don’t understand the significance of current events for them and for theirs. What it means for us and ours. That we are one.  I am crying for the victims of anti-semitism, for the dissonance within our allies. For the fears of the Jews in Europe and the uninformed masses elsewhere.

I am crying for the manipulation within the media and the lack of unbiased reporting. For the false propaganda and for those who misinterpret the facts. For the loss of regular television scheduling here in Israel and for the media reminder 24 hours a day that we are at war.

I am crying for those overseas who stand so alone in their support for Israel and are not here amongst us to be buoyed by us, by the love of our people. For all of us both here and there who feel ignored just as the facts are ignored.

I am crying for the kibbutzim, yishuvim, moshavim, all the homes no longer sanctuaries as the tunnels beneath them undermine their very existence. The families who have had to leave their homes, the families who are not allowed out every time there is a new threat and the 15 seconds to run which is not nearly enough time. 

I am crying for the fathers, the mothers, wives and the brothers all jumping each time the phone rings or there is an unexpected knock at the door. For the girlfriends and boyfriends and all of us here on the ground all missing each other, missing our loved ones and scared, so scared.

I am crying for the families already in mourning, each death announcement, every loss as the numbers inexorably rise and rise. For the families of our soldiers, for the 68,000 reservists for everybody on and away from the front line.

But most of all,

I am crying for the love. Every passionate statement supporting our troops, our boys, our families, our state. The words of the wounded the hearts of the hurting.  For all the collections, the food and the letters going down South, for the thousands of mourners sharing the grief. For the kindness of strangers because we are after all not really strangers.

I am crying for the love, with the love of Israel.

About the Author
Abi Taylor-Abt is an outstanding Jewish Educator and Curriculum Developer who has worked in the field of Jewish Primary and Secondary Educational Curriculum Development for over twenty years. She is the author of Lessons in Jewish Learning - a grab and go curriculum for communities and Jewish schools. Originally from London, Abi spent time living in Israel, South Africa, England and the United States. After working in Boise, Idaho, Abi spent 5 years in Israel for the second time whilst her children served in the army. She is currently Director of Education for Yachad a combined educational endeavour between the conservative congregation of Beth Shalom and the reform community of Temple Emanu-El in Michigan, USA. A 2018 recipient of the Klein/Grinspoon Award for Excellence in Jewish Education, Abi is also awaiting the video version of her recent ELI Talk Detroit Speaker Fellowship.