The Torah of the Mothers Calls Us

The Sages teach that even after they die, the righteous live on. The past year has provided us far too many times with painful proof of the truth of this statement. We all too often only truly appreciate the meaning and the essence of the lives of the very best of us after their untimely deaths, and it is this that transforms their lives into living, eternal lessons. Thus it is that only in the Torah portion that marks the death of Sarah, we come to appreciate the meaning of her life, Chayei Sara. And when we look around us, we can clearly see how the mothers of Israel still live these lessons to this day. They carry the Torah of chesed, not as a theoretical teaching of abstract ideas, but as a living will which calls us to concrete, courageous, committed action.

When Abraham’s servant Eliezer is sent off to a far-away land, he understands that the core of his mission is not merely biological, to find a wife for Isaac who comes from Abraham’s gene pool. It is a mission rooted in culture and in values. As Rashi explains, he is tasked with finding Isaac a wife “who befits him, who performs acts of chesed, who is worthy of entering Abraham’s household.” This chesed is demonstrated by the readiness to open one’s eyes with sensitivity and empathy in order to truly see the needs of the other, to take responsibility, and to act accordingly. The Malbim, a classic commentator from the 19^th century, describes this dynamic based on a very careful textual reading of Eliezer’s test.

“I will specifically ask her to tip her jug, which is a great burden, as it demands that she lower the jug from her shoulder to her hands in order to let me drink. It would be reasonable for her to be angered by this and to say ‘You tip the jug on my shoulder and drink! I shouldn’t need to!’”

Eliezer’s request to tip the jug is designed to be burdensome. Empathy is tested by a person’s ability to overcome the anger they may feel when they encounter another’s needs. Why should I need to do this? It’s hard! Do it yourself!

The Malbim continues to describe what passing the test looks like: “She will say, you drink, and I will give your camels to drink as well, for this is a sign of her wisdom and the goodness of her heart, for she should think to herself: ‘This man must have some pain in his hands, and for this reason he cannot draw water himself or tip the jug by himself.’ And based on this, she will think: ‘If he does not have the ability to draw water for himself, he certainly isn’t able to do so for his camels’, and thus her generosity will be aroused.”

Eliezer purposely does not ask for water for his camels himself, because he wanted to test whether she will understand this need herself. True empathy means really seeing a person’s needs from their own perspective, not from yours, and then responding to that need with generosity. It is this chesed that defined Sarah’s life, and therefore, when Rebecca joins the family, Sarah herself- her Torah, her lessons, her legacy- come back to life. “’And he brought her to the tent’- She became just like Sarah, his mother, in other words- and behold, she was Sarah” (Rashi on Chapter 24 verse 67).

This legacy lives on today in the cry of a group of mothers of hostages who continue to bear this Torah of empathy for the suffering of another. For the last 3 weeks, this group, called Mishmeret 101 (101 Watch), have called on the entire Jewish people to feel true empathy for the plight of the hostages, and to act on it with quiet, powerful determination, by staging hours long sit-ins in front of the seats of power in Jerusalem- the Knesset, the Prime Minister’s residence, the President’s residence. In contrast to those voices whose Torah is primarily one of wars, of force, of destruction, their silent protests loudly proclaim a powerful alternative. A Torah of empathy, of chesed, of truly putting ourselves into their place and understanding their needs, and the needs of their loved ones who have been in captivity for over 400 days. And just as Eliezer tested Rivka to see if she would continue to carry this legacy, we are being tested today. Will we heed the call of the Torah of the mothers?

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This is a translation from Hebrew of an article which will appear this Shabbat in Darchei Noam, a new weekly Parsha handout started by Yaya Fink, whose goal is to provide a platform for liberal Religious Zionist Torah that is not sufficiently heard in Israeli discourse today. Click here to receive the weekly handout online in Whatsapp