I’m back and much friskier than before. Can we please just talk about sex?
When I was writing this follow up piece to my previous article where I kind of get my feet wet with dating, I was trying to figure out how I could talk about sex and my experience with it here in Israel בלי (without) telling (air quotations) much but I really am eager to share my experience and journey here in the holy land in its entirety. Part of this includes being between the sheets, if you know what I mean.
There is no way to explain it all other than to be honest because as someone once said, honesty is the best policy. So I’ll just jump right into it.
When I left America to come (no pun intended) here, I packed three bags. One bag was full of bikinis, my yoga mat and shoes the other two bags are irrelevant because I don’t wear clothes anyway (have you seen my Instagram). In between the swimwear and my roller skates, was a tightly packed gift for myself, a single vibrator. Oh no she didn’t you may say. Ooh Yes I did. A cute little blue bullet courtesy of my time moonlighting as a Pure Romance ( as if I don’t have enough fun in my life) consultant. In Dallas, I had a whole collection of vibrators still in the wrapper, never used of course. I had second thoughts about bringing one for personal use. I thought, what if I get to Israel and find that one human that will spin my head and make me forget that I had access to it all?… NOT so much.
I am really kicking myself for having such high expectations ( I can’t help how positive I am) from these boys. I mean let’s be honest, Israelis are some of the most beautiful people on the planet (cue analogy) but just because a couch is gorgeous in your house doesn’t make it at all functional.
Now look, I realize I’m a big girl (Yup, big and sexy honey) and I need a man that can hold me, like literally hold me, pick me up off of my feet (no sweeping needed) and not be afraid to take control from time to time. I didn’t understand that it would be so difficult. Not impossible because I found one man in Israel that literally handled me. First time in my life that I had nothing to say. Speechless I was and that in itself deserves its own post one day.
This human was Ukrainian and came with no instructions or rules so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I agreed to step outside of my comfort zone (as if moving to a new country wasn’t enough). The Sexy Ukrainian kidnapped me for the weekend and moment by moment, I decided his goal was to reminded me that I was born not only a woman but a Goddess and that the vagina is meant for more than monthly cycles and pushing out babies. The vagina was meant for pleasure and I’ll be damn if he didn’t have a P.H.D in Vaginology (omg I’m crying laughing). Let’s just call him Dima Grey (think 50 shades). What an amazing lover and on top of that he was a super sweetheart and a total gentlemen who treated me like the Queen that I am. We had so much fun and he even helped me with my Hebrew (I know every sexy word and I even made up a few of my own). The best part of all of this is neither one of us wanted a relationship, we made it clear (Israelis keep that 100 percent real and I like it) from א. We just wanted to have fun and fun was had by all.
I officially feel like a grown-up. Well; until I went to the next human.
The next boy (insert sigh and an eye roll ) was so beautiful but all he wanted for Hanukkah was a piece of this brown sugar which makes me laugh because I didn’t realize that I was a fetish. All he talked about was my skin, how he loved it, and did I taste like chocolate (I told him no honey, chocolate taste like me). And just like that, school was in session. Needless to say…….
To be continued