Benji Lovitt
Because the Middle East is Funny

Top 11 ways Israeli elections are better

Sure the US presidential race is stressful, but it's better to laugh than cry, right?

It’s just nine days until the US elections. Are you ready for them to be over? If you thought Israeli elections were bad, the last many months may have caused you to reconsider. And what’s so bad about Israeli elections anyway?

Here are the top 11 ways that the Israeli elections are better than America’s.

11. It’s a national holiday in Israel. You can spend all day committing voter fraud without having to give your boss a fake doctor’s note (and still have time to BBQ).

10. We don’t need “I Voted!” stickers as incentives to throw the bums out of office. (We’re too busy voting them in.)

9. Without 50 different state governments, it’s much easier to rig an election.

8. Our entire election cycle is shorter than Christmas season at the mall.

7. The Russians can’t hack into a cardboard box stuffed with pieces of paper.

6. The drama of debates is unnecessary. Have you seen a Knesset meeting?

5. The Holocaust survivors/pot legalization party is a far better alternative than Jill Stein.

4. We’re experienced in electing people who will eventually go to jail.

3. There is no equivalent of “shy Trump supporters” because nobody here gives a shit what people think of you.

2. Wikileaks can’t sway an election by intercepting government faxes.

And the number one reason that Israeli elections are better than America’s….

1. If you don’t like the result, just wait a year.

For a standup comedy show or program about Israeli society, visit Benji is performing this Tuesday night in Tel Aviv.

About the Author
Since making aliyah in 2006, Benji Lovitt has performed stand-up comedy and educational programs for groups including Jewish Federations, Chabads, synagogues, Masa Israel Journey, and Birthright Israel. His perspectives on aliyah and Israeli society have been featured on Israeli TV and radio and in publications such as USA Today, Time Magazine, the BBC, and more. Benji has worked as a cross-cultural trainer with groups including the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Masa Israel and is a popular presenter on the Limmud International circuit. During 2014's Operation Protective Edge, his humorous observations on the war led to his being called in Israel "the only reason to go on Facebook.”
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