Two to Tango – Every Day or Two

This past Tuesday, we had an Israeli-Palestinian Zoom team meeting at 11:00. Unexpectedly, the Tel Avivians excused themselves: sirens. Sirens in my city seconds later. It’s been months, so it’s jolting. As if the second and third and fourth – and who’s counting – is less jolting, when it’s part of your routine. By afternoon the prescribed 10-minute wait probably cut short by most, were revised – stay in your safe room following an alarm until further notice.

With Rosh Hashana beginning the following evening, #1 anxiety release tactic was in place – afternoon cooking therapy. Rolling 63 vine leaves with rice is therapeutic.

The office WhatsApp group started buzzing incessantly. I succumbed despite work-detach mode: discussion about delaying a social media post considering the latest news. My cue to turn on the television. Iranian attack imminent. Not so imminent: 8-10 hours. Takes 12 minutes until ballistic missiles reach Israel or 8 hours for UAVs – enough time for the Home Front Command to warn us to get to a safe place.

Haim needed to stay late at the office. But I called and he was already headed for the train station sounding unalarmed, anxious for us to pick up some things at the supermarket. Stores close the following afternoon until Sunday for the holiday.

Siren. Confession– alarms are so infrequent in our area, that our safe room was not easily adjusted to safest capacity. Rambo here, removed the shutters from the window tracks. Now the metal window can be sealed.

Still fear – attacks from Lebanon, maybe Iraq, like escalating attacks on Israelis in northern Israel after Nasrallah was killed, after Hezbollah attacked Israel, since, since, since… Reports released showing that on October 7, 2023, Hezbollah had capacity to launch a far more destructive attack than Hamas.

But why recall feeling insecure, why think about the government not heeding Intelligence warnings that could have preempted the events of October 7? Why think about what-ifs from a year ago? Stay calm, concentrate on subsequent Intelligence and military feats, assuring Israelis’ physical safety. You dare question how 101 hostages are still captive in Gaza? Routine surgical acts of targeted destruction.

Tuesday morning, before my Zoom meeting, a glimpse of destruction Israel caused in Beirut rendered me temporarily dysfunctional. I know: Israel warns civilians to leave, the enemy uses human shields. Risk calculation tactics. There are other ways.

We returned from the supermarket.  My phone’s Home Front Command app signaled we should go to safe rooms. No sirens yet. A neighbor on the ground floor of our building had her door open. I asked if we could come in and go to their safe room. Teenage sons on the sofa presumably labelling me hysterical grandmother. Haim probably would have confirmed. No sirens. He’s calm. We took the elevator to our floor. Sirens.

During the morning attack, a deafening boom proved to be shrapnel from interception of a rocket. Someone injured at nearby highway interchange. Haim isn’t convinced to stay indefinitely in the safe room. He wanted to unpack the groceries. Another siren.

Another siren. Haim is convinced to stay in the safe room. By 8:30, we were back in the kitchen. Saved remaining cooking for the next morning.

Cooking therapy, holiday dinner therapy, spending the next day glueing napkins on old wooden placemats – decoupage therapy – and more cooking therapy – plum jam. A conversation with a concerned Palestinian colleague, mutual fears, shared hope.

Friday news: the Air Force foiled an imminent terrorist attack from Tulkarm, West Bank. Local Hamas leader eliminated, together with other Hamas terrorists. Innocent children among the 18 victims too. Were innocent Israeli children saved? Speculations. Political interests. Strategy – questionable.

Messages and calls from concerned friends and family abroad – received with deep appreciation. And then, complexed. Their fears – should I reconsider my worries, think about the what-ifs. What if Iran already has capacities we think they don’t? What if Israel misses a cue? Futile to worry. Let’s go to the beach.

Yesterday, at sunset, we drove to Herzliya for a beach stroll. I wanted to go out, briefly. Haim was anxious – what if there were sirens? How would we get to a shelter? Tomorrow, I’ll be safe room-anxious again, and he will take the train to work. The walk to the train station worries me. But, he says, there are buildings with safe space on the way. Tango.

Harriet Gimpel, October 5, 2024