What I learned from the storm

As I looked out of my kitchen window, early in the morning, at my car buried deep in the snow, the freezing air seeping into the house with no heat or electricity for the past few hours, I knew that there was nowhere to go and no way out. At least for the next couple of days.

We were trapped.

I am trying hard not to let this thought take over my already neurotic psyche as I devotedly continue to cook almost an entire Shabbat on the gas stove top, my hands bitter cold from washing the dishes in that winter temperature water flowing from my tap.

The worst of the storm is yet to come, or so they say. In the meanwhile, live and learn. Maybe next time around we will be smarter and better prepared.

So what did I learn from this Russian imported, Jerusalem storm of 2013?

1. Russians drink vodka for a reason, so don’t judge. If you were dealing with this kind of snow all year round you should probably consider drinking vodka too.
2. Always listen to your Dad and have emergency flashlights, lots of water, a phone that doesn’t require electricity and appropriate storm outer wear for the entire family even if you live in Israel.
3. No matter how skilled a snow driver one may claim to be, if you don’t have snow tires, positraction or a four-wheel drive vehicle, don’t bother going anywhere in your car. You won’t make it. So just stay home.
4. Israelis really love to help each other out in times of need. If you are reading this post while being hosted by complete strangers, then you know what I am talking about. Feel the love peeps!
5. Chevrat Hachashmal sucks big time.
6. Kids don’t care what the ramifications of this storm are. They see it from a completely different vantage point than their parents: they get to play in the snow and they don’t have to go to school. That’s all that matters to them really.
7. Don’t expect an increase in babies born nine months from now because no one is having sex in this storm. The singles and divorcees have no where to go to hook up and the married couples don’t really want to have sex anyways.
8. Chabad sees every opportunity, including a snow storm, to try to get you to light Shabbat candles or put on Tefillin.
9. I am the only adult here. (YIKES) And being a single mom in charge of the situation, I need to remind myself that I am in control, I should at least pretend to have all of the answers even if I don’t and I need to at least appear to have it all together.
10. Next time…there will not be a next time because in the future, even if there is the most minor of storm warnings in the forecast, my dear people in the Merkaz, expect a visit because me and my kids are moving in.

As a writer with ideas and no electricity, the only way to make sure that I could transfer this post from idea format to one that was written down, considering that I never rely on my memory, was to simply jot it all down in my “journal-of-ideas-past”.

I looked for my beloved journal, found it at the back of my cupboard, and started to scribble like mad as the crazy mother of a snowstorm continued to swirl and bite all around us, plaguing not only our region, but the entire surrounding Jerusalem area.