What if God made teshuva?

Dear God,

I’ve been wondering what would happen if You made teshuva. If you returned to Yourself. If You ended this powerful illusion of separation once and for all.

As above, so below. As below, so above.

We have grown weary of the diminishment You allowed – of Yourself, of Israel, of women. We are tired of being knocked down, of tasting dust. Aren’t You?

We are so grateful, yet exhausted by Your diminishment. Grateful that You allowed part of Yourself to journey so far down from royal spheres to help us retrieve all the lost sparks. Shattered vessels, scattered sparks. We could not do it without You. But we are exhausted by what the diminishment allowed – the illusion of separation. Sparks we are left with, but where is the fire of Unity? Are we foolish to long for it again? Would we burn? Or is containment possible this time?

We are so tired of You standing behind the wall, looking through the windows, peering from the lattices. You, Whom our soul loves. Aren’t You tired too? Tired of incremental love? Tasting, but never fully satisfied. Aren’t you tired of time and space? Spaces never quite full. Seconds that seem lonelier than the last. Aren’t You tired of hidden Oneness? We gorge ourselves on empty cravings to forget our unrequited longing. The root of the root is that we are simply desperate for Your Oneness again.

As above, so below. As below, so above.

So what would happen if You made teshuva? If You returned to Yourself? If You no longer peered from behind, no longer remained hidden? If the Shechina part of Yourself got up from the dust. If You arose from the kelipot, what would happen to us? Would we remain, or would we arise too?

Are You waiting for us to get up first? Waiting for Israel? Waiting for women? Those represented by the perpetual cycle of the moon. Waxing. Waning. Diminished from our fullness. This diminishment you allowed, how it has cost us all!

“God said to the moon, ‘Go, reduce yourself.’” As a result she and the entire feminine components of the universe were diminished and plunged into exile. Your beloved, Israel. Women in general. And part of Yourself.

You recognized the cost of the diminishment and set into place a perpetual new moon offering; an atonement of sorts. A perpetual regret for telling her, the moon, and all she represented to, “Go then, and make yourself smaller.”  But the truest, only remedy is for You to be at-One again.  Pristine Unity. The Face of God repaired, once and for all. And then all else will be repaired.

But You wait for us to repair ourselves. We will. If You will.

As below, so above. If we fully returned to ourselves would You?

As above, so below. Until You do, can we?

The sons of Korach made a bold declaration to You. “Arise!” they said. Get up. Return to Yourself. Return to us. Return to Oneness. “For prostrated to the dust is our soul, stuck to the earth is our belly. Arise, be our help, and redeem us for the sake of Your loving-kindness.”

If You arise, so will we. Draw us. Not to the field, but to the chamber. If you do, we will run to you. We will rejoice and be glad in You. We will recall Your love. We won’t forget, ever again.

I am to my Beloved, as my Beloved is to me. As above, so below. Be ours again. Fully. And we will be Yours.

Sincerely . . . and awaiting in love.

About the Author
Camie Davis is a non-Jewish writer and advocate for Israel.