No wonder foreigners have a hard time learning our language!! Scroll down and get a true kick out of this one ..
Read until the end … you’ll laugh.
This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is ‘UP.’ It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv.], [prep.], [adj.], [n] or [v].
It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.
At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UPat night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap itUP, for now . . . my time is UP!
Oh . . . one more thing: What are the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?
Did that one crack you UP?
Don’t screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not . . . it’s UP to you.
Now I’ll shut UP!
Moishe and Miriam were sitting down together for a quiet Shabbos dinner, just the two of them. Miriam decided to make Moishe’s favorite – brisket. Moishe was in seventh heaven.
“What did you marinate this in?” Moishe asked. Miriam immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loved him and how life wouldn’t be the same without him.
Moishe’s puzzled expression gave Miriam pause, so she asked, “What did you ask me?”
Miriam chuckled at Moishe’s answer and explained, “I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!”
As she left the room, Moishe called out, “Well, would you marry me again?”
Without hesitation, Miriam replied, “Vinegar and barbecue sauce.”