Yehuda Lave
Motivational Torah and articles for you at YehudaLave.com

What’s UP!?

What’s UP!?

No wonder foreigners have a hard time learning our language!!  Scroll down and get a true kick out of this one ..

UP
      Read until  the end …  you’ll laugh.      

This two-letter word  in English has more meanings than any other  two-letter word, and that word is ‘UP.’  It is listed in  the dictionary as an [adv.], [prep.], [adj.], [n]  or [v].      

It’s easy to  understand UP, meaning toward the sky  or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in  the morning, why do we wake UP?      

At a meeting, why  does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is  it UP to  the secretary to write UP a  report?  We call UP our friends, brighten  UP a room, polish  UP  the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.  We  lock UP the house and fix  UP the old  car.      

At other times, this  little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line  UP for tickets, work  UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.      

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.      

And this  UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped  UP.

We open  UP a store in the morning  but we close it UPat night.  We seem  to be pretty mixed UP about UP!      

To be knowledgeable  about the proper uses of  UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.   In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost  1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty  definitions.      

If you are  UP to it,  you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is  used.  It will take UP a lot of your time, but  if you don’t give UP, you may wind  UP with a hundred or  more.      

When it threatens to  rain, we say it is clouding UP.  When the sun  comes out, we say it is clearing UP.  When it rains,  the earth soaks it UP.  When it  does not rain for awhile, things dry  UP.  One could go on  and on, but I’ll wrap itUP, for now . . . my time  is UP!     

Oh . . . one more thing:  What are the first thing you do in  the morning and the last thing you do at  night?      

U      

      P          !      

Did that one crack you UP?      

Don’t screw  UP.  Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book .  . . or not . . . it’s UP to you.      

Now I’ll shut  UP!

Hearing Problems
Moishe and Miriam were sitting down together for a quiet Shabbos dinner, just the two of them. Miriam decided to make Moishe’s favorite – brisket. Moishe was in seventh heaven.

“What did you marinate this in?” Moishe asked. Miriam immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loved him and how life wouldn’t be the same without him.

Moishe’s puzzled expression gave Miriam pause, so she asked, “What did you ask me?”

Miriam chuckled at Moishe’s answer and explained, “I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!”

As she left the room, Moishe called out, “Well, would you marry me again?”

Without hesitation, Miriam replied, “Vinegar and barbecue sauce.”

About the Author
Yehuda Lave writes a daily (except on Shabbat and Hags) motivational Torah blog at YehudaLave.com Loving-kindness my specialty. Internationally Known Speaker and Lecturer and Author. Self Help through Bible and Psychology. Classes in controlling anger and finding Joy. Now living and working in Israel. Remember, it only takes a moment to change your life. Learn to have all the joy in your life that you deserve!!! There are great masters here to interpret Spirituality. Studied Kabbalah and being a good human being with Rabbi Plizken and Rabbi Ephraim Sprecher, my Rabbi. Torah is the name of the game in Israel, with 3,500 years of mystics and scholars interpreting G-D's word. Yehuda Lave is an author, journalist, psychologist, rabbi, spiritual teacher and coach, with degrees in business, psychology and Jewish Law. He works with people from all walks of life and helps them in their search for greater happiness, meaning, business advice on saving money, and spiritual engagement
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